Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I said that… I’d have a nickel. Like, Katherine Heigl, Tara Reed, and Janet Jackson before her, this woman’s wardrobe malfunction was someone else’s eye candy. Well, in this case I wouldn’t call it eye candy, though I must admit, I stared at her nipple for quite some time. In a train wreck kinda way, while I debated my moral obligation as a fellow female. At first, I thought I should say nothing. She clearly spent serious man hours getting those boobs to bust out of her bra and reveal the tattoo of a phoenix emblazoned across them. But, as I stared at the protruding circumference, I couldn’t help but think, “I hope someone would have the decency to point out my nipple peeking from my bra. Sure, it would be more embarrassing to hear it than to say it. And she would probably dislike me for pointing it out (no one likes the messenger,) but like the girls who go on the Bachelor always say, “I wasn’t there to make friends.” – which is totally true, I rarely seek new companions in line at the register.
After about 10 minutes of internal turmoil, I took a deep breath and whispered the words I hope not to utter often in my life. “Excuse me ma’am, your nipple is showing”
“Huh,” she replied loudly as she was unable to hear, and clearly not up for chit chat.
Now, the others in line were looking and probably thinking, “Yep, it sure is,” as I repeated myself using hand gestures. I was making a circle around my own boob to point out the area I was referring to. – You know, the international mime for something’s up with your bosom. “No, I thought you might like to know your nipple is ummm, you know.”
She looked down and without the slightest blush took care of it, as if I merely suggested her shoe was untied.
Then she looked at me after using her bedazzled nails to shove that puppy back in there and said, “Ugh, don’t you just hate when that happens?”
Really? Did she just ask me that? How do I respond? Frankly, it took a lot out of me to politely tell her about her nipple, now I should feel compelled to respond respectfully? “Sure, who doesn’t hate when their nipples inadvertently pop out of their attire mid day? Gosh, if only someone would come up with an item of clothing that you could wear under your clothes that would not only push up but also cover those puppies.” Okay, I didn’t say that, I went with “Umm Hmm,” and took my turn at the register where I purchased a cute tee shirt. Gee, I hope it covers my nipples.