Excuse Me Miss Your N}pple is Showing

janet jackson wardrobe malfunctionWow, if I had a nickel for every time I said that… I’d have a nickel. Like, Katherine Heigl, Tara Reed, and Janet Jackson before her, this woman’s wardrobe malfunction was someone else’s eye candy. Well, in this case I wouldn’t call it eye candy, though I must admit, I stared at her nipple for quite some time. In a train wreck kinda way, while I debated my moral obligation as a fellow female. At first, I thought I should say nothing. She clearly spent serious man hours getting those boobs to bust out of her bra and reveal the tattoo of a phoenix emblazoned across them. But, as I stared at the protruding circumference, I couldn’t help but think, “I hope someone would have the decency to point out my nipple peeking from my bra. Sure, it would be more embarrassing to hear it than to say it. And she would probably dislike me for pointing it out (no one likes the messenger,) but like the girls who go on the Bachelor always say, “I wasn’t there to make friends.” – which is totally true, I rarely seek new companions in line at the register.

After about 10 minutes of internal turmoil, I took a deep breath and whispered the words I hope not to utter often in my life. “Excuse me ma’am, your nipple is showing”
“Huh,” she replied loudly as she was unable to hear, and clearly not up for chit chat.

Now, the others in line were looking and probably thinking, “Yep, it sure is,” as I repeated myself using hand gestures. I was making a circle around my own boob to point out the area I was referring to. – You know, the international mime for something’s up with your bosom. “No, I thought you might like to know your nipple is ummm, you know.”

She looked down and without the slightest blush took care of it, as if I merely suggested her shoe was untied.

Then she looked at me after using her bedazzled nails to shove that puppy back in there and said, “Ugh, don’t you just hate when that happens?”

Really? Did she just ask me that? How do I respond? Frankly, it took a lot out of me to politely tell her about her nipple, now I should feel compelled to respond respectfully? “Sure, who doesn’t hate when their nipples inadvertently pop out of their attire mid day? Gosh, if only someone would come up with an item of clothing that you could wear under your clothes that would not only push up but also cover those puppies.” Okay, I didn’t say that, I went with “Umm Hmm,” and took my turn at the register where I purchased a cute tee shirt. Gee, I hope it covers my nipples.

17 thoughts on “Excuse Me Miss Your N}pple is Showing

  1. Insanitykim

    Whew I don’t have this problem because mine keep getting stuck under my armpits…at least I think you’d tell me if I had a piece of spare rib stuck in my teeth, right?

    If we make it through DWTS w/o a nip slip from Pam Anderson I will be so impressed.

    I need sleep.

  2. Amy

    Haha! Great story. You try to be sensitive and respectful and all that effort is wasted! I’m with Insanitykim; mine are too far south to pop up and forth for view!

  3. Bari

    UGH, I had a major malfunction. It wasn’t just the nip. It was the entire tit! During a perfectly executed swan dive, apparently a bikini strap went bust. My dive didn’t rate a 10 but I did get hysterical laughter from the cute 18 year olds sunning themselves at the opposit end of the pool.

  4. Jerseygirl

    I haven’t worn a bra that my nipple could slip out of since I turned 30. Not that I ever showed nipple before that, but I can think of a few occasions/outfits where it was a remote possibility and I can only hope that someone would have been polite enough to let me know. I don’t know if I would have had the nerve to say anything or not.

  5. Jamie

    So funny, Jenny! I’m sitting here at the carwash laughing-and its the one you get out of your car. I would hope for someone else to say something. Don’t think I could do it – let alone say nipple and not laugh. Some things never change!

  6. cherie

    This was hysterical. I was laughing out loud at my desk and wondering if any one was watching me. I made everyone read it. You did it again. I don’t think I every had that type of accident, although I would be devistated.

  7. rachy

    this is hysterical! but, with the trend towards “major cleavage,” it’s not surprising!

    i think you handled yourself well. i guess if guys feel it’s their duty to let each other know if their fly is open, then women should let other women know if their nipple is showing.

    but is it just a generational thing? why do some women choose to show off major cleavage like this one? do you think i just old fashioned to think you can look attractive and feminine without exposing major portions of your tits?

  8. Ruth

    I once had to figure out how to tell a young woman sitting across the train from me that the second button on her incredibly-tight shirt had blown and we could now see her breasts popping out merrily. In the end, I couldn’t find a way…I didn’t want to stare long enough to figure out of the button was still on the shirt or not.

    I’m all for shirts that make your chest look good, but it doesn’t need to be skin-tight or nipple-baring to get that effect. Just cut well.

  9. Emily

    That is TOO funny! Her response cracks me up! I think she WANTED her nipple to show and perhaps you were being secretly taped for a show! LOL

  10. Petula

    What? Mine fall out all the time! Not. LOL… That’s too funny and I can only imagine your inner turmoil. I would have had to say something too and I would have stared a moment thinking, “I know that’s not what I think it is.” ROFL.


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