Tip O’ the Mornin: Microdermabrasion, Do I Need it?

I have added a Tip o’ the Mornin’ to my regular repertoire of hilariously funny, thought provoking and possibly award winning articles.



Well in answer to the question, Do I need microdermabrasion?  Yes. yes you do.  I don’t know exactly who you are but your skin is probably dull and the elasticity is probably slack.  Okay, I may be projecting, but along with suffering from dull slack skin, I selfishly envy fresh faced youth. It always makes me feel good to drive by a highschool, hang my head out the window and scream at the cheerleaders.  Things like. “Your pores may be small, but your such a slut and everyone knows it.” or “So what if you don’t have any wrinkles now, one day your kids will stretch your nether regions beyond recognition and your HS sweetheart will be a cheater working a dead end job, and your face will show it all.    I know what your thinking, Can I come?

If you think there’s a better way, then maybe you should try microdermabrasion.  First it sandblasts your skin with an abrasive material or ultrasound, then it vacuums your pores clean like a shag rug in the bathroom and last it stimulates new collagen production.  I have been trying to coax my collagen into regenerate for months now, so if this works, I can stop begging!  It costs $100-$200 a blast and should be done by a licensed professional –it can cause damage in the wrong hands.

Will it minimize wrinkles?  Probably not, but it can help with fine lines,  sun worshipers with skin damage and those who went through that awkward teen acne.  Who am I kidding, I still break out at “that time of the month.”  That’s when I go to an old age home, hang my head out the window and scream, “I may have a zit or two, but at least I still get my period.”

If you have an experience with microdermabrasion, please share.

15 thoughts on “Tip O’ the Mornin: Microdermabrasion, Do I Need it?

  1. Luc Brooks

    I have had this procedure. The person who gave me mine informed me that I would need several of them to see any difference. I prefer a chemical peel. The results vary depending upon the strength of the peel. When my significant other came home after I had had the strongest of my peels and said “what happend to you?” I knew I didn’t look pretty but after a week I looked great. I would advise that you don’t waste your money on microdermabrasion. Go to the dermatologist and get a peel. They cost the same amount.

  2. cherie

    Well, I guess you were stronly considering getting the microderm procedure? I’m still toying with a mini face lift. Find out what that costs for me. What do you think? Oh and don’t go around talking trash to teens and old ladies, it only makes you “look” bad…

  3. Alison

    Jennie, once again you have me LMAO!!! Love ya girl, and anytime you need a co-pilot for your drive-by taunts give me a shout and I’ll head down to FL to help my sista out!

  4. Bari

    Jen, don’t fret you’re not forty yet. That’s when all the s..t hits the fan or the floor! I’ve never done a professional peel but I know people who have. After a week of yuk the fresh skin is revealed and glowing. A little hint to try before taking the big peel step is to use Oil of Olay microdermabrasion and peel kit. Use your normal moisturizer after each treatment, preferably at night when skin heals and rejuvenates the most! One last hint, no need for abusive slurs ( even if they are true). You radiate beauty every day!

  5. Wilern

    Great writing. If you go in for a proceedure, the Doc will think you’re nuts. I’ve seen your pics. Maybe your money would be better spent on a Frontal Labotomy. Just Kidding!!!

  6. nancy schutt

    If you are still having your period you do not need microdermabrasion. Save it for ten more years and by then it will be improved and the effects might last more than 7.5 days.
    And don’t forget, in twenty years, which passes faster than a high speed train, you will wish that you looked like you will look ten years from now.

  7. rachy

    my advice is avoid the cost of microdermabrasion. over the years, the best things you can do are daily cleaning and moisturising coupled with exercise. get out of the car and walk or ride your bike or chase your kids around the park. i really think exercise is the best way to keep your body looking a bit younger than others your age.

    my other thoughts is to avoid looking too close in the mirror. we all look much better from about 10 feet away than at 10 inches! that’s how most people see you, anyway.

    also, don’t take any pictures of yourself with too high a resolution camera (that’s the secret to looking younger in my facebook pics). so, i just ignore that face in the mirror and take pride in my low resolution facebook pics! (happier living by a little bit of self-deception!)

    1. admin Post author

      I’m so glad this microderm article started a lovely discussion. It looks like I either have to stand at least 12inches from people, or I need to look into more drastic measures. You have all been so helpful.

  8. Insanitykim

    I still have a zit or one hundred, like, all the time, and, do you think I could get the same results by either falling face first into a gravel pit, or dragging my face across a brick wall? I’m looking to save money…

  9. Karen Baitch Rosenberg

    What I learned in woodshop in high school: start with the coarsest grain available and work your way down to the finest. (My med cabinet has about 4 exfoliators, from the big honkin’ almond pit scrub, down to the “micro-fine” particles.) Use one after the other, decreasing in abrasiveness, until you’ve scraped off enough layers to claim a few years. Finish off with a lift mask and moisturizer, and go to bed with duct tape lifting @ the strategic places. Next morning your skin will glow.
    Don’t forget to remove duct tape before carpool.
    You’re blessed with amazing genetics, JB ~ don’t touch a thing! (Yet. Your best friends will tell you when it’s time!)

    1. admin Post author

      Tis true, about the genetics. However, it is my friends who are begging me to take off a couple layers. Maybe I just need new friends.


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