Tip O’ the Mornin’ : How to Survive Holiday Visitors

family fighting

So, the holidays are upon us.   Christmas has just passed and visitors are abundant, but their welcome is wearing thin.  I know, we all look forward to this time of year, but often in the midst of it, we realize the heavy meals have expanded our waist lines and our relatives have stretched our patience.

In-laws can be the toughest during the holiday season.  I’m not talking about mine; they’re amazingly wonderful and never bothersome, NEVER.  Mine aren’t even in this season, but I have heard tales of other in-laws who cause stress and frustration.  The way they handle a turkey, as if it is not a breeding ground for salmonella, or the way they screw with the table settings that you took a painful amount of time arranging to look haphazard and shabby chic.  I know, my “friends” sound like a joy to be around over the holidays, right?  I am simply relaying their stories, I am in no way referring to specific incidences that may have happened in the past, which have caused me anxiety or to count to 10 by the medicine cabinet, while searching for Zanex .

Let’s face it, it’s harder to have tolerance for those who didn’t raise us: friends and non-immediate family included.   We have a certain forgivability factor for our blood relatives; they can get away with more and feel the wrath less.  We also tend to offend them less as they too have a forgivablity factor, towards us.  Thank goodness.

So, while you count the hours till your guests get on their merry way, I suggest heavy drinking.  Use the holiday traditions to mask your quick bout with alcoholism:  Manischewitz on Chanukah, egg nog on X-mas, and champagne on New Year’s.

Remind yourself that you’re probably getting on their nerves as well.  This is also not a problem I have, as I am always filled with an almost addictive amount of holiday cheer, but logic says:  If they’re annoying you, you’re most likely annoying them.  (Or did I read that on a fortune cookie?)  Well logic or Confucius says that.

Grandparents, especially in-laws, really aren’t there for you in the first place.  They’re there for your children.  You’re just an obstacle.  You and “Your Way” are hurdles to be tip-toed around, not jumped over.  They don’t agree with your techniques, your rules, and your methods of punishment — or lack thereof.   Though this is a point of un-verbalized contention between you and them, look at the positive.  They would love for you to get out of the house, so that they can do and say what they please without feeling like you’re critiquing and judging their every movement – which, by the way, you are.

Don’t over think this one!  Go out and let them babysit!!!  And while you’re out, drink heavily.

Disclaimer: No in-laws, parents, or guests were harmed in the writing of this article!

16 thoughts on “Tip O’ the Mornin’ : How to Survive Holiday Visitors

  1. Luc Brooks

    I have had guests in my home since I moved to the South Floridia region several years ago. I am so over house guests that I now ask people to stay at a hotel.

  2. cherie

    Great tip. Very amusing. Even blood relatives can get on your nerves, not mine though…but as you said we forgive our own a lot faster and over look all their quirks. Have a Happy and Healthy New Year.

    1. admin Post author

      Well MOM, you got lucky with me… no quirks to overlook. My quirks are the kind you embrace with joy and understanding. Wait, I don’t have any quirks!

  3. Alison

    As always Jenny, hilarious! Andy and I hit the road and spent the holiday weekend at The Pierre in NYC. It was the best Christmas/Hanukkah ever! Keep me laughing through New Year and I will be ever so grateful!

  4. nancy schutt

    I have found that heavy drinking works for pretty much any kind of stress, it is a reliable remedy any time of year- it’s easily acquired and only a problem if the remedy of preference tends to be in the upper end red wines. Maybe I should try that Manischewitz. Great advice!

  5. rachy

    we have found that having a small urban home (1200 sf) keeps the house guests at bay! even the mother-in-law begs to be taken to the bus or train station after 3 nights on the pull-out couch.

    for us, we’re always on eggshells when either mother comes and rules the kitchen. we can’t even boil frozen vegetables without critical review comments.

    all in all, sometimes it’s better to invite more distant relatives and friends, as their presenece promotes more social behavior among all.

    sometimes the best part of the holidays is the first day back to work!

  6. Bari

    Well, well, well, to whom are we referring? In laws, step parents perhaps, parents of the natural phenomena? Whatever, guests are guests and too long is just that. My suggestion is skip the imbibe stage and head straight for heroin.

  7. Insanitykim

    See this is why we are totally alone on Christmas. No, it’s not. It’s because no one will fly down and see us. SOB! I KNEW it was me! Blarging cripes! Where’s that blasted eggnog???


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