Tag Archives: tips

Can No Man Remember Trash Day | Things that Annoy the Crap Out of Us – Week II

OK, last week I started the, “Let’s NOT Allow Our Hubbies to Annoy Us, So We Can Have Better Marriages” experiment.  We’ll pick one pet peeve per week that we’re going to ignore, until we all have the perfect, flawless, annoyance free marriage, I imagine Angie and Brad have.

This week we’re talking TRASH DAY (feel free to insert your own grievance).

We’ve lived in our home for about 9 years or 936 trash days. I know, most people prefer to count in years. Though, I think the British count in trash days or do they use the metric system? I’m not sure which. Anyway, we’ve had the same trash days (Mon. and Thurs.) every week.

Yet somehow, my husband forgot to take out the trash both days last week.  Not just one day, which he’s usually good for, once every three weeks, I’m talking both!  Frankly, I can’t wrap my head around it.

Forgetting trash day isn’t like forgetting to pick up toothpaste.  One does not peek into the neighbor’s bathrooms to see if their tubes have run dry, nor do we all run out of Crest at the same time. HOWEVER, one does get a peek at the curbs of about 50 neighbors with large green plastic containers on the curb; and yep, our day is the same as everyone else’s.

Why doesn’t my husband notice the cans littering the street and turn back to set ours out when he’s mere feet from the house? I wonder. “There’s no conspiracy here honey, the neighbors aren’t putting out all their cans, simply to watch you turn around and put out ours, so they can snicker behind your back,  “Dumbass, fell for it again! Hee hee hee, now let’s all go schlep our trashcans back into our garages,” high-fives all around!

“The garbage collectors are also not fucking with you, by changing up the days they will collect our junk.  Nope, they have better things to do, like leaving the can in the direct path of my car, which often ends with me extracting it from the undercarriage and hoping it pops back into shape.” Those are the jokes they play, duh?

My husband’s standard response, “I forgot, and I didn’t notice all the other trashcans.” I get it, I’m no ogre, it was an honest mistake (made at a 1:6 ratio. Not that I’m counting), but he has like two weekly jobs around the house: trash and light bulbs.

Could you imagine if us moms just forgot 50% of our jobs any given week?  Like, “Oops I forgot to feed the kids this week and seeing other people eat, or even eating myself didn’t remind me. But for the record, I also drove carpool this week and I got them to and from school everyday. Yep, I didn’t even miss one!”

So, this week, I won’t mention the trash once. Even though I noticed, just this morning, that there was a ton of recycling stuff in the regular bin – where it should NOT be. I also won’t breathe a word about all the stuff in the small cans in our office and bathrooms, which clearly weren’t emptied. No, I’m taking this experiment seriously. Zipped, are my lips.

On a side note, last week’s experiment went really crappy! I mentioned that my hubs parked in the farthest spot one time and noticed that he was too close to a car another time.  I said, “Didn’t you read last week’s column about how much your parking annoys me!” To which he responded, “Yes, did YOU?”

Touché.

Is it just me or does your husband have trashcan blinders too?

The Jenny Isenman Show | Anti Aging Episode (VIDEO)

This week, on The Jenny Isenman Show, I’m discussing the best fixes for my most worthy adversaries: enlarged pores, wrinkles, sags, uneven skin tone, and cellulite, with the author of Forget the Facelift, (one of my dream guests) Dr. Doris Day. She kinda frequents all the morning shows: Good Morning America, The Dr. Oz Show, The View ... to name a few.

She’s even talked cutting-edge procedures with Barbara Walters on 20/20. I would totally stalk her if I had more time. I tell her about the stalking in our interview, and I’m not gonna lie, she looks nervous about it!

In the segment you will:

  • find out which random place I’ve gotten Botox and why it’s a kind of awesome new trend.
  • learn how heat energy can lift sagging!
  • see a picture of me at prom … in a gold lame dress … that had a turtleneck!
  • see the results of the newest lasers and laser alternatives.
  • learn how to properly berate people who are younger and wrinkle-free (F@ckers)

ENJOY!

If you learned anything from the video, even if it’s that I was super cheesy in the 80’s or that Dr. Day has incredible legs, please like/share it and pass it on to your friends. I’m tryin’ to make this a full time gig!

Behind the scenes extra:  I was sick as a dog when filming and Dr. Day offered to bring me to a walk-in clinic somewhere in the middle of Jersey City at 8PM. Smart, knows her stuff, chills with the stars, and is willing to hang with the sick girl, she was pretty incredible.

XO –

Jenny From the Blog

 

 

 

The Premier of the Jenny Isenman Show YAY! (VIDEO)

As many of you know, I’ve been working on a new show for CafeMom!!! I am beyond excited (hence, 3 exclamation marks).

That said, below is the video and the top 10 reasons to watch this week’s PREMIER episode of THE JENNY ISENMAN SHOW, The Drinking Show, where we talk juicing, juice fasts, energy drinks, smoothies, and teas that are touted as “the next best thing,” but are they?


Top 10 reasons you should watch:

10. In 7 minutes we cover:

  • Why juice fast actually make you gain more weight.
  • Why you don’t have to down those 8 glasses anymore.
  • A good reason to justify your coffee addiction.
  • Why the blender you already own is better than the pricey juicer you want to buy.

9. My guests, Lyssie and Tammy Lakatos ( The Nutrition Twins ) are incredibly knowledgeable, but little and cute, like action figures … really smart action figures.

8.  I reference old school Gen X faves, like Mad Dog 20/20, Boone’s and Peach Shnapp’s … don’t pretend like you never sipped them from a paper bag!

7. I have a hot barista, whose sole job is to whisper “Mommy Porn” inspired sweet nothings like: “Tonight I’ll do the dishes and fold all the laundry!”

6.  You truly love and enjoy me and you want to support me!

5. You’ve been waiting for this show to come out as you only have a 7 minute attention span.

4. I embarrassingly, call one of my guests the wrong name, but to be fair, she called me Bill moments earlier, which was edited out, so I say we’re even.

3.  Your cat will like you more if you watch.

2. We go way back and you know I will make you feel insanely guilty if you don’t watch (or at the very least pretend to watch) and respond.

1. Did I mention the barista is shirtless?

Thanks for watching!

PS – If you learned anything at all, please share, and like, and comment, and pass it on! If you learned nothing at all, please pretend you did! Then share, and like, and pass it on (you should probably skip the comment part).

Here are a few behind the scenes extras:

  • The barista who makes a shirtless appearance was inspired by a Ryan Gosling meme I created in my spare time.  I know, what’s that, right? What spare time?
  • My favorite makeup tip is a highlighter at the top of your cheekbones it makes them really pop! I use Moonbeam by Benefit at Sephora. Put it right below your brow-line to make your brow pop!
  • I really wanted to ask if there is a drink for better more frequent sex that would stop me from crying “headache” 3 times a week. Though, I think I could take a guess: Vodka, the answer is vodka.
  • Yes, I called one of the twins the wrong name! In my defense, moments before she called me Frank (that incident was edited out), but I think that makes us totally even.
  • I DID drink MadDog 20/20 and Cisco, and Boone’s Strawberry Hill and Peach Schnapps and often straight from the bottle. If you’re 35 or older, you know you did too, so don’t try to deny it!

Thanks for you support!!!

XO,

Jenny From the Blog

Does Your Hubby or Wife do Things that Annoy the Crap Out of You

I know, that was a stupid question (and frankly, “stupid questions” are number 1 on my list of pet peeves), but at this point in my marriage, I’m thinking it’s possible that most things my hubby does falls into the “annoying” category, which probably makes living with me and absolute pleasure!

So, I’ve decided to take action, well action — in the form of an experiment. We’re all told, “You can’t change people, you just have to accept them,” unfortunately I can’t accept that advice anymore than I can accept my hubby’s, ahem, little ticks.

But maybe if we try not to sweat the small stuff slowly, you know, one small thing at a time, we can change our outlook?!  That said, each week, I will TRY to accept a different (most likely NOT) Earth shattering annoyance, until I have accepted them all … or I’m too old to notice them anymore, whichever comes first.

I would love for you to do this with me!!!  Because, like running a marathon, it helps to have someone to train with and complain with and stretch with.  Though, no stretching will be required for this experiment, unless you want to stretch, I mean, it’s not prohibited either and if that’s what you need from me I say let’s do some toe touches.

For MY first week I will attempt not to complain about my husband’s parking for an entire week!  This will be extremely hard, as my husband likes to take the first available spot upon entering any lot, which is usually also the farthest.  He clearly didn’t read The Secret, which explained that you CAN get the best spot everyday, if you believe.  I am a believer and frankly, I’m also lazy, and willing to circle endlessly, which ensures I ALWAYS get an impressive spot.  In fact, I wish we all compared spots when we entered a mall or other establishment, so that I could show off my parking prowess!

To add to my hub’s penchant for picking bad spots he likes to park between cars when there are corner spots available (hello, only one side of your car is exposed to damage!), and he doesn’t know to park slightly closer to the nicer car or to car on his side!

He NEVER, well, only after my constant whining, reparks to straighten out the car (we’ll add my insistent whining to his list of pet peeves). We could be hanging off a curb or parked on a diagonal, and it just isn’t worth going into reverse, because apparently that’s a major chore.

Lastly, he doesn’t consider the fact that I’m usually in super high-heeled shoes and wedges! How is not thinking of my foot attire at time like that, or all the time for that matter?

By the time I enter a store I’m tired from having walked a mile.  I’m possibly limping from having twisted an ankle and I’m most certainly hoarse from saying, “there’s a spot, look there’s a spot” while pulling in and continuing to point out ALL the spots we could’ve parked in as we walk through the lot.

So, I imagine my barking and bitching could also be on his list of peeves.  Yes, I know, we seem perfect ladies, but we have little miniscule tiny barely noticeable flaws (we’re only human).

So, I will bite my tongue all week and see if I can let it go … and if letting it go makes us less bitter by the time we hit our destination, we call it a score. If not, I will of course, go back to complaining and pointing and whining, duh.

You can obviously pick your own peeve for this week and let me know what it is so I may use it in a column and of course, dedicate it to you!

Next week, be ready for (forgetting trash day)!

PS- Go check out my new show – The first episode it up!!!

Photo Credit/ Iheartlaughing.blogspot.com

Phrases we Could Teach our Kids to Say – to Make us Feel Younger Smarter and Prettier

“…It may be too late to train our hubby’s to dole out the ego boosting compliments, but our children?  Yes, yes (twist handlebar ‘mooostache’ if you have one), we can work with this.  Here’s a list of phrases I’d like to teach my children to say.  Feel free to borrow it – it’ll make you feel good…”

Not my little girl... but still pretty cute.

The other day my daughter said,  “I bet people who just meet us think we’re sisters.”  Frankly, that’s a bet I wouldn’t take, but who am I to sneer in the face of lovely sentiment?  I mean, that’s the kind of phrase you would have to train (or pay) a child of 7 to say, but no, she did it on her own volition.  No, coaxing or prodding, not even in the hopes of getting a new Barbie out of the deal.  Though I think a phrase like that deserves a new iPad – at a bare minimum.

The effect of this simple observation, that my clearly brilliant child made, was utter joy- total narcissistic mirthfulness – and that’s not a phrase I use often, as you can imagine.

This got me thinking:  If this tiny guileless thought could make me feel so great, why can’t we train our children to say things that will make us feel more hip, young, or smart, and less twitchy or stabby?

Truth is, Continue reading

Beer, Cash, and Mix Tapes? – Best Tips for Father’s Day Gift Giving EVER

How miniatures, cash, beer, and spa products can make the dad in your life giddy on Father’s Day.  And who doesn’t like a giddy man?

“It’s a sweater!!!”  Yes, that was the infamous (in-famous) exclamation of the great El Guapo.  See pic below.

El Guapo's banditos knit him a birthday sweater. See how happy he is? (Three Amigos)

And yes, that was some good acting and yet… it’s the exact response I look for from my hubby on Father’s Day and rarely – ok, never get.  I don’t know how to make you men happy.  Well, I know, but I don’t want to go there.  Please, I’m a nice Jewish girl.  I’d never do that kinda stuff… after marriage.

Besides, I prefer the old fashioned way of keeping a spouse happy:  Material Goods.  Unfortunately, you men don’t seem as wowed by a new pair of stilettos or a spa day as we chicks do and that is why you suck to get gifts for and also why we married you.  Oh, the irony.

On the Sunday after next, men all over America will open slender boxes and say, “It’s a tie” yawn.

Why?

Because we don’t know what the hell else to get you.

And we like very much that you’re currently employed.  Also, Because you never tell us what you want.  So, I, Jenny from the Blog, Lifestyle Expert extraordinaire, have compiled a  list of the best gifts for the guy that doesn’t need, want, or ask for anything.

Was $88 Now $49

1.  The wallet full of stuff.  Oh, I truly looooove this one.  Take a look at your guys money holder, if it’s falling apart or has Velcro located anywhere on it, it’s time for a new one.  The best part isn’t the wallet, it’s the thought you put into it.  You need to go to Starbucks, Blockbuster, and Sports Authority or a rounder at your supermarket and pick up gift cards from some of your man’s or your Dad’s favorite places.  The denominations can be small (you will have to get the cards in store if less than $20), but it’s worth the smile on his face.  Oh, and don’t forget to put in pics of the kids or yourself if you are “the kid.”  PS – Cole Hahn outlets are the best.  They are an average of 30%-60% off all the time and they smell like Italy (or at least how I imagine Italy would smell.)

2.  Lot’s of guys like beer, name one who wouldn’t like their own tap?  See, you can’t can you?  The Krupps BeerTender fits on your counter and keeps your beverage at optimal serving temperature.

$80 with a 20% off coupon from BB and Beyond

It features a temperature indicator, signaling when the beer reaches its optimal 37.4° F serving temperature and lasts up to 30 days.  Plus you can remove the tap so the kids can’t access the beverages.  Like the key the liquor cabinet.

If you don’t get a coupon from BB&B like every other day, sign up for their mail online and you will soon receive one.

If you want to make it super thoughtful, get frosty mugs from your hubbies favorite team at Bed Bath and Beyond or if you’re willing to get a dozen you can have his initials or name laser engraved into a mug at DiscountMugs.com for an amazing price.


3.  The Mix Tape for the Millenium.  Remember how much you loved getting a mix tape from your high school beau?  You know, a little Journey, maybe a Chicago tune or two?  Well, now you can give that dope gift to the man you love.  Pick him up an MP3 (I recommend an iTouch) and fill it with songs for him.  Your song plus anything else that feels right and don’t forget to put on a few from the kiddies.  I’m thinking Yeti Stomp by the Backyardigans and let’s not forget C is for Cookie from the Monster himself or if your kids are like mine maybe some Zepplin, Who, and of course Ke$ha for my 6yo.

If your man has an MP3 steal it and add a few and then surprise him with a pair of high tech headphones.

$14 - $20 at Best Buy, depending on sale.

 

$95 from $179 at Best Buy

4.  Everything’s better in mini size, well not everything, but miniatures do make things cuter (get your brain out of the gutter and think Tea Cup poodles). Get the dad in your life a Dopp kit, which is a small toiletry bag that’s used for storing men’s grooming tools for travel. Then get a bunch of mini’s to fill it with, think: comb, brush, deodorant, shaving cream, shampoo, conditioner, scissors, toothbrush, toothpaste, cologne, men’s eye cream, moisturizer and of course a razor and extra blades. It’s a gift every guy LOVVVVVVES.

Great Buy Cabela's leather Dopp Kit on sale for $29

5.   It’s Tee Time baby.  Give the golfer the newest gadgets.  If you don’t know what’s big now, I’ll lay it out for you… I mean fore you.

Taylormade R11 Driver

$399 not crazy for a driver.

Taylormade R11 Driver – This could be the biggest golf product launch of the year. It’s a Golf Digest Hot List Gold Metal Winner, and was selected as Editors Choice for drivers for 2011.


Only R11 can be adjusted in 48 combinations of:

Loft

Increase or decrease launch angle to get more distance

Face Angle
Select and open, closed, or neutral address setting for more distance

Flight Path

Promote A Fade

– Heavier weight in toe, lighter weight in heel for more distance
Promote A Draw
– Lighter weight in toe, heavier weight in heel for more distance
In other words, if you’re confused, go with this club!

$200 with mail in rebate

Garmin Approach® S1, a GPS wristwatch for golf courses with no annual fee.

 

  • Preloaded with over 13,000 courses (and counting), US and Canada
  • Includes par & distance to front, middle, & back of each green (accounting for dog leg distances)
  • Measures last shot distance
  • Odometer provides distance walked on or off the course
  • Watch mode features GPS time & date, alarm and automatic time zone detection
  • Easy to use interface featuring automatic hole transitioning
  • Waterproof design with high sensitivity GPS
  • Rechargeable lithium-ion battery – 3 week watch mode / 8 hour GPS mode

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check Golf Galaxy for online coupons.

Well, there you go no need to buy a tie this year unless it’s this one:

"it's a tie"

Did I mention I like irony?

Is it Hard to Say NO to Your Kids? |Jenny’s Topics and Tips

This week in Jenny’s Momtourage Column, Jenny from the Blog asks: Why do I find it so hard to say “no” to my children when they clearly have no problem saying it to me? She also gives 5 tips to help any parent stand their ground. Good Luck! READ MORE


Are You a What Iffer? | Jenny from the Blog

Written By: Jenny From the Blog for HybridMom.com


Mark Twain once said, “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” This week, Jenny from the Blog asks, “How many incidents do we fear as mothers?” “How much stress do we expend fearing them” and “Why is it so easy to be a What-iffer?”

Excerpt “…But, my mind was quick to figure out the real danger.  Nope, this was not a police issue and frankly those petty slap on the wrist repercussions didn’t concern me; this was an act of terrorists or at the very least the owners of the mall were going to blow up the parking lot in order to put up a Neiman Marcus.”

To read the full insanity of this piece and see if you know the feeling: CONTINUE READING

Innocent Or Not, I’m Guilty

I went out shopping with my mom the other day and I felt guilty, not because I was breaking my necessary self-imposed shopping ban, but because I had left my kids. I had left them not with a babysitter, but with my husband. They were not doing child labor; they were simply going to a movie.
I couldn’t pinpoint the cause of the feeling I was having. Maybe it was guilt brought on by the fear of sending them off alone with their dad. Would something happen without my guidance? Continue reading

A New NBC Segment is in: Unique Gifts for the Holidays

Looking for unique holiday gifts?  Or maybe you’re just an awesome supporter of Jenny From the Blog, either way, enjoy the latest parenting segment! Watch out Today Show.

If a video does not come up, use this link:
Unique gifts segment for NBC Continue reading

My Take on Parenting News: AKA “Seriously?”

Check out some news of the week and links to my reporting and take on these topics:

Better Looking Parents Have Daughters -Poor Gisele, I guess she’s just not cute enough.

Mom Uses Facebook to Pick her Babies Name – The money she’s getting makes this the best parenting decision she’s made so far.

Gwen Stefani Took Her Son for a Mani/Pedi – Well, that’s what happens when your a celeb without a little girl.

Enjoy and comment if you get a chance, I’ll copy your comments here.

Ninety is the New Eighty | Jenny from the Blog

It’s hard to look younger when you keep getting older.

elderly ladies
They say forty is the new thirty, and thirty is the new twenty. The problem with everything being “the new”something is that it gives people (and by “People” I mean me)  less chance to look young for their age. Frankly, I feel about twenty most of the time, which I guess is the new ten. However, when I attempt to run up a flight of stairs or decipher the hieroglyphic message in the spider veins  on my legs,  I’m reminded that I’m not twenty anymore.

Remember that “hot you” that made heads turn? Continue reading