Tag Archives: parents

Date Night Before Kids vs Date Night After

Date night now vs date night before kidsMany many things change after becoming a parent: Your outlook on life, your obsession with the application of sanitizer and sunblock, the intimacy of your marriage…

We still adore our men but our alone time has little resemblance to the hot dates we once had.  Wow, did we take those nights for granted!

Want proof?  Behold: Date Night Before Kids vs Date Night After

Before – Your nights out were dependent on no one else. You never waited around the house to see if someone would show up to watch your plants, your pets, or your furniture while you were gone.

After – Cancellation is always a strong possibility. It remains that way until the moment the actual babysitter arrives (even then it may be iffy).  At the very least you are never guaranteed to finish anything you start: dinner, a movie, a show … (Don’t check your coat.)

Before – You had time to put together the perfect outfit, blow out your hair and apply a glaze of pristine makeup, which you really didn’t need in the first place. Continue reading

8 Reasons Not to Friend Your In Laws or Let them Read Your Blog

inlawecardHere are the Top Reasons Not to ‘Friend’ Your In-Laws/Parents on FB or Let Them Read Your Blog (both of which I’m totally guilty of):

You may regrettably hear this:

1.   “We tried that new position you mentioned and I have just one question…”

2.  “Is everything ok with money?  Your post about coupons/discount codes/the economy/stealing shampoos from hotel carts/insert penny pinching tip here…  has left us concerned.”

3. “Have you ever thought about couples therapy? We found some of your post titles rather worrisome, like:  I Cheated on my Husband with Christian Grey/ Sex or Oven Cleaning Husband For Sale: Motivated Seller, Why is My Hubby Such a Wuss When He’s Sick? …”

(Don’t judge fellow bloggers, I’m sure you have some doozies of your own.) Continue reading

NBC Segment Tips for Moms to Stay Healthy

Another one is in!!! Making time to go to the Doctor!
The Tips


Being a mom, you begin to realize the value that each minute actually has. A 24 hour period, once known simply as “a day,” is now a race to accomplish a myriad of tasks from bathing and feeding little ones to hosting playdates, doing homework, and attending ballet classes and sports practices. We are also required to: Build forts as intricate as the Chrysler bldg., slay monsters, provide Wii games before they are even in production, throw 50 pound children in the air Continue reading

Parents Peer Pressure

I’m aware that there’s already peer pressure on my children to watch certain movies, rent specific DVDs or play particular video games. Lately, I’ve also allowed them to watch some questionable flicks. After thinking about it, I’ve realized that it’s not my kids who are being pressured into seeing these movies — it’s me.

It started with Transformers, which I saw with two friends and their children. Within the first ten minutes, an obscene amount of people were injured, and words I hoped my son had never heard were spoken in large quantities. I glanced at my friends, expecting to see looks of shock and awe, only to find them calmly munching away on their popcorn and Raisinettes. Read More

Tip O’ the Mornin’ : How to Survive Holiday Visitors

family fighting

So, the holidays are upon us.   Christmas has just passed and visitors are abundant, but their welcome is wearing thin.  I know, we all look forward to this time of year, but often in the midst of it, we realize the heavy meals have expanded our waist lines and our relatives have stretched our patience.

In-laws can be the toughest during the holiday season.  I’m not talking about mine; they’re amazingly wonderful and never bothersome, NEVER.  Mine aren’t even in this season, but I have heard tales of other in-laws who cause stress and frustration.  The way they handle a turkey, as if it is not a breeding ground for salmonella, or the way they screw with the table settings that you took a painful amount of time arranging to look haphazard and shabby chic.  I know, my “friends” sound like a joy to be around over the holidays, right?  I am simply relaying their stories, I am in no way referring to specific incidences that may have happened in the past, which have caused me anxiety or to count to 10 by the medicine cabinet, while searching for Zanex .

Let’s face it, it’s harder to have tolerance for those who didn’t raise us: friends and non-immediate family included.   We have a certain forgivability factor for our blood relatives; they can get away with more and feel the wrath less.  We also tend to offend them less as they too have a forgivablity factor, towards us.  Thank goodness.

So, while you count the hours till your guests get on their merry way, I suggest heavy drinking.  Use the holiday traditions to mask your quick bout with alcoholism:  Manischewitz on Chanukah, egg nog on X-mas, and champagne on New Year’s.

Remind yourself that you’re probably getting on their nerves as well.  This is also not a problem I have, as I am always filled with an almost addictive amount of holiday cheer, but logic says:  If they’re annoying you, you’re most likely annoying them.  (Or did I read that on a fortune cookie?)  Well logic or Confucius says that.

Grandparents, especially in-laws, really aren’t there for you in the first place.  They’re there for your children.  You’re just an obstacle.  You and “Your Way” are hurdles to be tip-toed around, not jumped over.  They don’t agree with your techniques, your rules, and your methods of punishment — or lack thereof.   Though this is a point of un-verbalized contention between you and them, look at the positive.  They would love for you to get out of the house, so that they can do and say what they please without feeling like you’re critiquing and judging their every movement – which, by the way, you are.

Don’t over think this one!  Go out and let them babysit!!!  And while you’re out, drink heavily.

Disclaimer: No in-laws, parents, or guests were harmed in the writing of this article!

The Proof. Can You Dig It?


I did not lie in yesterdays post. Notice the trashcan has fallen down. I was going to pick it up for the picture, but I was scared he would come out cacti a-blazin’ and outline my body with “do not cross” tape and reflectors.

FYI in this neighborhood they will cite you for not promptly bringing in your trashcan from the edge of your driveway, but apparently it’s okay if you throw it in a hole and tie it to your tree.

I’m a Movin’ On Up

I’m outta here. I’ve moved to the new SUBURBAN JUNGLE http://www.suburbanjungle.net . It’s new and improved with 33% more content, FREE. Reading it will make you softer and shinier or your money back. Thank you for checking in or for whatever link sent you to this (my old crappy site). Please take the extra step to go to the new site and when you get there don’t forget to bookmark it or follow the feed or subscribe for email notifications or whatever other ingenious technique the internet world has thought of to make me sound like more of an ass.

For all you chic parents who want to be in the know, now is the time. Soon the new site will be so big your window for being able to say, “I knew her when'” will be closed. We all know you’ll be kicking yourself then. Also, be aware that if you do not make the switch I will be talking about you at parties, playdates, and the multitude of important celebrity functions I am invited to on a regular basis.

Thanks and see you at http://suburbanjungle.net soon!