Certain things go on in nature that make you want to close your eyes and scream “earmuffs.” Yet, instead you watch, unblinking, like a sicko. It’s not your fault… we all do it.
Susan at 8AM: You have to come see this. It’s horrifying. It’s like DuckRape.
Me: I just want to make sure we’re clear. You’re asking me to come to your house so that we can watch ducks have sex? Can we not afford good porn?
Susan: You make me sound so cheap.
Me: Well, you want me to drive over to your house to watch something so horrifying you’ve termed it rape?
What? You people think my days are so full of work that I don’t have time to watch ducks get laid?
Me: Half hour later, (when we were able to peel our eyes away) HOLY CRAP! Continue reading