As you may or may not know, most of the job offers that bloggers get go something like this: Dear https://thesuburbanjungle.com I love your site and as a long time reader I think your audience would truly enjoy my awesome (tennis shoe cleaner, power washer, penis enlarger, coupon for colon cleanse, hilarious video clips, blah blah blah…) We’d be happy to send you a discount code, sample product, $25 gift card to Target, or nothing because you’d probably like to write about it since I went to the trouble of sending this personal email.
SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, a coupon???!!! And all I have to do is take a numerous hours out of my already hectic day to write about your crap, work the SEO, and promote it the 73 social networks I subscribe to? You’re too too generous, $7 off my next colon cleanse seems well worth all that time and effort. You sure do know the value of slave labor.
Let’s say 80% of my job offers look like that. Another 10% will pay me actual money to link to sex toys because I once talked about people giving away vibrators in an article titled: How Many Vibrators Does it Take To Turn On a Blogger. And 9% are legit. Well, if you call touting their wares, which I don’t use and selling my soul, my site, and my readers off to the highest bidder, legit. Which leaves 1% (I know you just checked the math, but it’s correct).
ONE Freaking Percent of the people that contact me (or I contact) want me to
talk about products I absolutely love or do something good for the universe … and they allow me to write my own opinions or allow me to decide which brands/products to talk about and what I link to.
These companies and organizations actually pay for my expertise with actual money that I can in turn use on my Starbucks addiction or my shoe addiction or my family’s weird addiction to eating daily.
I’m a spokesperson for 2 of these type campaigns right now. One is a secret, but let’s just say I’ll get to tell you about cutting edge procedures and products and whether they work or not, in my quest to look younger, dewier, less age spotty, cellulity, veiny, and wrinkly. PS There will be before and afters… I’m hoping the afters look better!
The other is for the city of Miami, which I’ve been in love with ever since I spent 6 years there in college (relax I got my Masters people … it didn’t take me all 6 years to get just t
he one degree) and of course, I moved back to South Florida to raise my family and live here now.
I got to pick MY favorite spots to take the kids, MY favorite spas, and MY favorite places for incredible and unique workouts. A couple of which I featured in the video that I wrote the copy for (which is above).
I also got to make MY OWN FREAKIN’ MIAMI GUIDE of the Best Things to Do in Miami. It’s not officially named that because I didn’t ask, but they probably would have let me. I didn’t even have to write this post, it wasn’t in a contract, it’s not paid for or sponsored … I just thought that the stuff I wrote about was awesome and if you’ll be visiting the area or live in the area, you should totally check it out. Plus, I wanted to brag in the name of all us bloggers who work damn hard and every so often get to do really fun really awesome things, which reminds us of our true value!
PS: Thanks to the GMCVB (Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau) for being so amazing and choosing me to be your spokesperson – for my voice, my expertise, and MY opinion!