Since my son got his Nintendo DSi (which comes with an internal camera), he has become quite the photographer. He isn’t exactly setting up portraits, or creating scenes like some children I know, but he is noticing what makes for a nice shot. The cat and dog nose to nose, in a rare moment of indifference towards each other, or my daughter, AKA Hanna Montana, armed with her new Barbie makeup kit and a full bottle of glitter nail polish. You know, the usual stuff that the average Joe would find picture worthy. However, I recently learned that Jake’s eye for a good shot was raising some eyebrows. Why, just today, I got a call from my friend Susan who had been admiring some of his handiwork.
Susan (uncomfortably giggling): “Um, Jenny, do you know what the screen saver is on your son’s DSi?”
Susan: “Oh, (giggle giggle), I think it’s his (giggle giggle), penis.”
Me: “What? His what?”
Susan: “Oh yeah, front and center. He left the DSi in the car, and I was about to hand it to Jessie (her five year old daughter), when she asked if it was on red. I grabbed it to check, and then slammed it shut, like the scene from Pretty Woman. Jessie kept asking, ‘Well, is it red? Is it red?’ All I could do was utter, ‘Yes, yes, very red,’ over and over.”
Me: “Maybe blue would have been a better description. Are you sure it’s his?”
Susan: “Yes it’s his DS. He told me he was leaving it in the car.”
Me: “No, I meant the penis.”
I was willing to find the whole incident funny on the premise that it was his penis. Sticking a camera down his pants to snap a pic for his DSi: A bit exhibitionistic, but amusing. Taking a picture of someone else’s wiener: Tooooo voyeuristic, a breach of privacy, and cause for therapy.
Susan: “I don’t know if it’s his. It’s not my son’s. I can’t spot the schlongs of other children.”
Me: “A statement you should be proud of.”
Susan: “A statement I rarely have reason to make.”
Me: “Well, there’s a first for everything.”
Epilogue: It was his. Phew. I will await the photocopies of his butt in the years to come.