My Son, Future Photographer or Future Pornographer?

Nintendo-DSi1Since my son got his Nintendo DSi (which comes with an internal camera), he has become quite the photographer. He isn’t exactly setting up portraits, or creating scenes like some children I know, but he is noticing what makes for a nice shot. The cat and dog nose to nose, in a rare moment of indifference towards each other, or my daughter, AKA Hanna Montana, armed with her new Barbie makeup kit and a full bottle of glitter nail polish. You know, the usual stuff that the average Joe would find picture worthy. However, I recently learned that Jake’s eye for a good shot was raising some eyebrows. Why, just today, I got a call from my friend Susan who had been admiring some of his handiwork.

Susan (uncomfortably giggling): “Um, Jenny, do you know what the screen saver is on your son’s DSi?”

Me: “No.”

Susan: “Oh, (giggle giggle), I think it’s his (giggle giggle), penis.”

Me: “What? His what?”

Susan: “Oh yeah, front and center. He left the DSi in the car, and I was about to hand it to Jessie (her five year old daughter), when she asked if it was on red. I grabbed it to check, and then slammed it shut, like the scene from Pretty Woman. Jessie kept asking, ‘Well, is it red? Is it red?’ All I could do was utter, ‘Yes, yes, very red,’ over and over.”

Me: “Maybe blue would have been a better description. Are you sure it’s his?”

Susan: “Yes it’s his DS. He told me he was leaving it in the car.”

Me: “No, I meant the penis.”

I was willing to find the whole incident funny on the premise that it was his penis. Sticking a camera down his pants to snap a pic for his DSi: A bit exhibitionistic, but amusing. Taking a picture of someone else’s wiener: Tooooo voyeuristic, a breach of privacy, and cause for therapy.

Susan: “I don’t know if it’s his. It’s not my son’s. I can’t spot the schlongs of other children.”

Me: “A statement you should be proud of.”

Susan: “A statement I rarely have reason to make.”

Me: “Well, there’s a first for everything.”

Epilogue: It was his. Phew. I will await the photocopies of his butt in the years to come.

6 thoughts on “My Son, Future Photographer or Future Pornographer?

  1. cherie

    Omigod!!! I was giggling so loud (at the office) everyone kept looking at me. I just said go to Jenny’s blog and you’ll see why I could compose myself. I’m glad you found out it was his and not some other child’s. I don’t want him kissing on air like Adam. Still this was one of the funniest things I have ever read and I still can’t stop laughing.

    Reply
  2. Bari

    Ok I have to respond as a psychotherapist.
    Your friend gave you a clue… She’s
    never seen anything like this before.
    And I’m betting neither have you! Lucky.
    It may be time to have a “special”
    discussion with him. While recognizing
    his creativity you might consider a little
    talk on boundary development. Sure kids
    play and experiment… He may be especially
    sensitive so give him the extra love and support!
    I know you will! You love him and “his talents”.

    Reply
  3. rachy

    well, these things can happen with little kids. more embarrassing for you and Susan than for him.

    innocent little thing at his age. but, just hope that he isn’t doing that, like 20, 30 or 40 years from now (like some guys out there on the net, who think that showing their _____ is how they can attract a women….). chances are, a few months from now, he’ll have forgotten all about it.

    i don’t know, jenny, you lead an interesting life!

    Reply
  4. Tricia

    OMG. That was the funniest thing I heard it years. I was going to buy my son (4) a DSi, but perhaps I will hold off for now. (I kid).

    Tricia

    Reply

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