Pardon me Miss Your Nipple is Showing | Oh This Happened

Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I said that… I’d have a nickel.
But today, like, Rihanna on her Hawaiian vacay, Tara Reid um – everywhere, Janet Jackson at halftime, Elaine Bennis on her X-mas cards (Please tell me you got that reference?), and tons of oopsies on the Red Carpet…
this woman’s nip-slip was someone else’s eye candy.

Well, in this case I wouldn’t call it eye candy, though I must admit, I stared at her nipple for quite some time, in a train wreck kinda way, while I debated my moral obligation as a fellow female.

At first, I thought I should say nothing. She clearly spent serious man hours getting those boobs to bust out of her shirt and reveal that stunning tatt of a phoenix emblazoned across them.

But, as I stared at the protruding circumference, I couldn’t help but think, “I hope someone would have the decency to point out my nipple if it was blatantly visible or even just subtly visible, for that matter, as I think it’s a universal goal to keep them hidden in public places that don’t have floor to ceiling poles.  Which this Old Navy, did not.  I can’t say as much for Forever 21, though.

Sure, it would be more embarrassing to hear someone point it out than to be the pointer-outer.  And she would probably dislike me for mentioning it (no one likes the messenger), but like the girls who go on the Bachelor always say, “I wasn’t there to make friends.” – which is totally true, I rarely seek new companions in line at the register at Old Navy.  Though, I may befriend you in line at Barney’s or Neiman’s (just sayin’).

After about 10 minutes of internal debate, I took a deep breath and whispered the words I hope not to utter often in my life. “Excuse me ma’am, your nipple is showing”
“Huh,” she replied in that rude way people do when they pretend they don’t hear, but really they’re not up for chit chat.

Now, the others in line were looking and probably thinking, “Yep, it sure is,” as was forced to repeat myself using hand gestures. I was making a circle around my own chest to point out the area I was referring to. – You know, the international mime for something’s up with your boob, lady?

“I thought you might like to know your nipple is ummm, you know.”

She looked down and without the slightest blush took care of it, as if I merely suggested her shoe was untied.

Then she looked at me after using her bedazzled nails to smoosh that puppy back in there and said, “Ugh, don’t you just hate when that happens?” — as if she were talking about forgetting her credit card or picking the long line.

Frankly, it took a lot out of me to politely tell her about her nipple, I didn’t want to imply to the folks who awaited their turns while intently listening to our tet-a-tet (as I would be doing, if I were them), that I too am a victim of the nip-slip.

(Which by the way, I totally am.  Last week at a water park I came out of a slide with only one triangle of my bikini doing it’s job — ahem, pointed out to me by the lifeguard.  And this very weekend at a wedding, when my Hollywood Tape gave out, I was told side boob was showing… by my dad!  *mortifying*)

Damn you Hollywood Tape!

But I was not about to admit to those infractions.  Plus, this was noon, and we were all dressed in normal lunch attire.  Boobs aren’t supposed to pop out at noon!

She awaited a response.

“Sure, who doesn’t hate when their nipples inadvertently pop out of their attire midday? Gosh, if only someone would come up with an item of clothing that you could wear under your clothes that would not only push-up but also contain those puppies?”

Okay, I didn’t say that, I simply went with “Umm Hmm,” and I took my turn at the register where I purchased a cute tee shirt, which I truly hope it covers my nipples.

19 thoughts on “Pardon me Miss Your Nipple is Showing | Oh This Happened

  1. ilene

    I once chose to tell a man – a stranger – about a rather large hole in the back of his pants. He was quite appreciative. Your nipple-slip woman was so nonchalant! LOL!

    Reply
  2. Karen Baitch Rosenberg

    I will always point out the lipstick on your teeth, your downed zipper and your skirt tucked into your underwear …

    Reply
  3. Melissa

    I once pointed out to a man that his male equivalent to a vajajay was showing and after a sharp look he explained that it’s kind of hard to have sex with it tucked behind the zipper and didn’t anyone explain to me what usually happens on your wedding night/in reality prom night?

    Reply
  4. Bari

    At my community pool I did a stunning swan dive only to get out of the pool to do it again. It was then that I noticed everyone pointing and laughing hysterically. Right boob on the loose!! I was totally embarrassed. I jumped back in the water and didn’t come out till everyone left. Fourteen is such a tough year!

    Reply
  5. Kim

    You did the right thing. I probably wouldn’t. I only wish I could experience an “above the navel” nipple slip. Since my two children it’s hard enough getting them upright.

    Reply
  6. Pingback: Urban Word Wednesday: Bed Browsing – Natalie Hartford

  7. Julie Glover

    Good gracious! I immediately clicked over here when I saw the title because I had this very thing happen to me. I was chatting with a neighbor, and she had an ill-placed hole in her t-shirt. I had NO IDEA how to point that out in a polite way. I kept thinking I should, but I just couldn’t come up with the words. You made it sound so easy: “Um, your nipple is showing.” I just prayed she would notice later and correct the issue. I can’t believe the woman you talked to was so nonchalant about it. I would have been horrified.

    Reply
  8. Pingback: April Fools Suckas – I Got You Good | The Suburban Jungle

  9. Malia

    I remember when I was around 22 and pre-kids a mom (my neighbor) was talking to me and her nipple was showing out of the top of her tank top. I didn’t say anything because she was just going back inside her apartment anyway. Two years later I had a breastfeeding newborn and struck up a conversation with a different neighbor (a military guy) and yep, that’s right, my boob was out. My daughter nursed so often it was bound to happen eventually that I would just forget and leave it out. I instantly thought back to that pre-kids moment and was like “ooooooh. Now I get it”

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge