Sunday morning my son informed me of that our new babysitter is Pescatarian.
“You mean Presbyterian?”
“No Pesc,” Jake corrected
“Well, it’s actually Presbyterian,” I said trying to right his wrong. Unlike when he was little and I found total amusement in his mispronunciation of words. So much so, that I would repeat them back to him in the wrong way that he would say them. Do you wanna look at your self in the “mirriour,” or type on Mommy’s “computue?” Look, for nearly a decade I referred to grapes a “bops”
“Mom you’re wrong, she said Pesc,” he insisted
“Ok Jake, Pescatarian.” Yep, now I just give in out of “fustration,” I mean frustration. Sorry, old habits die hard.
“How do you know that she’s Pescatarian, did you ask?” I questioned uncomfortable with the idea of him asking her about religion.
“No, I didn’t ask, she told me.”
“Was she asking YOU?” I questioned, now worried that she was also having him read pamphlets or asking for a donation or that Pescatarianism is some cult off shoot. (Religion seems like a heavy discussion to have with a 9 year old unprovoked.)
“She was wearing a shirt that said Vegetarian,” he said, as if that were enough information to answer my question.
“Jake that doesn’t help me here. How does her Vegetarian shirt relate to the story?”
“Well, I asked if she was a vegetarian and she said no, I’m a Pescatarian.
“That doesn’t make sense Jake, Vegetarianism is not a religion. I don’t know much about this Pescatarianism, but I don’t think they’re mutually exclusive.”
“Could a vegetarian eat a pescatarian?”
Wow that was an unexpected turn in the conversation, I bet you didn’t see that coming either… and you thought my cult theory was soooo off base.
“Umm, no. Because Pescatarians, are still meat… I would assume.” I hate to give out incorrect information.
At this point I was slightly concerned about the origin of his question, “Did she happen to tell you she was a cannibal?”
“No,” he responded as if that was a normal thing to ask.
“Did she look at any of your babyfat while licking her lips, tying a napkin around her neck or sharpening cutlery?”
“Well that’s good.”
I think that conversation went well.
PS- here’s a picture of our new sitter, Lilly. She was teaching drums at a local Music school. She seems nice enough, right? Best of all, she’s available Saturday nights.
In an unexpected turn of events a reader let me know that a Pescatarian is a vegetarian who includes fish in their diet. Umm, Nevermind.