Look, I’m a pop culture junkie, but Nicole Kidman confessing to injecting Botox is a headline? I mean, duh, her face hasn’t moved since “Days of Thunder.” You know the worst part about celebs copping to this inoculation and other work? They always say something like, “Yes, I admit, I did it in the past, but I don’t do it anymore.” It’s like listening to an athlete talk about steroids or Pres. Clinton describing a pending offense. Let’s not forget, he “didn’t inhale…” or “have sexual relations with that woman.” Well, Bill… you missed the best part on both counts (or did you?)
Alas, Courtney Cox and Teri Hatcher and a slew of other celebs, who like me celebrate their 29th birthday year after year, have been forced by public scrutiny to admit to past experimentation as if it was a crime. A crime punishable by a mug shot of the transgressing celeb sans makeup while scrunching her forehead. (You know, to prove they’re off the botulism train?) Of course they can move their wrinkle-less foreheads, they were getting botox and other fillers during the years we simple folk were developing laugh lines, crow’s feet, and the crease above our noses, which I call the 11. PS, I have a terrible case of the 11s; it makes me look as if I’m always worried, oh yeah, and also… old.
I guess that’s why, as trite as I find the admonition of stars, I can’t help but get a tinge of pleasure in knowing the celebrity moms of America are just as flawed as I am. You know the hint of joy I speak of; it’s the same one you get when you see a super skinny girl with cellulite. The real question is what’s the crime in fixing flaws? Why must we dissect everything a celeb does to “youth-anize” herself? (That’s probably not the best term I’ve ever coined, but you get the picture.)
Well, I guess we dissect because of that tinge of pleasure I was describing. It helps to know that Hollywood’s hot mommas have some help. Well, if you can afford to keep yourself looking barely legal, why not? I just want to know you’re paying for it so I don’t feel so inadequate. Then I want to know what you’re getting, how much it will cost me, and who I need to see. Dr. Brandt? Dr. Perricone? Can I get a deal on Living Social or Groupon? Come on, throw me a bone here. Forget it, I’ll just look it up online, I’m sure it’s breaking news somewhere.