Is it just me or does money seem tight these days?

I don’t know about you guys, but I have watched my investments plummet.  it’s probably just me.  I must have made bad choices.  Reeling from the tech fallout of 2002, I cautiously invested in low risk things like bonds, and solid proven companies like GE and CitiBank.  What was I thinking?

Oddly, I also assumed that my husband would receive his weekly commission based paychecks well, weekly.  I appear to have been wrong on both counts. The constant chatter I hear on line at the supermarket, where people are pulling coupons out of their Chanel bags to save a buck on T.P. (one ply), makes me think, “maybe I‘m not alone.”

I want to know when I started to sound desperate and entitled?  Was it when I complained that I have to make my own coffee? Or when in an attempt to avoid such a dreadful task, I offered my barista a BJ in return for a Grande latte?

You know Sally Struthers once said, that a child in a third world country could live on the price of just one cup of coffee a day.  There’s probably a Starbucks like every 8 huts in Ethiopia, but how can I buy them coffee everyday when I can’t afford my own?  Oh, the irony.  You know Sally also said, “Stop calling my husband Meathead, Daddy.“ so I don’t know why I’m letting her make me feel guilty in the first place.

Here in the first world — America, there are people who struggle everyday of their lives and in the face of that I still manage to be upset that my husband and I haven’t exchanged gifts this year.

In an attempt to be frugal and responsible I recently returned $200 worth of “barely” used makeup and creams to Sephora.  Look, we all know that stuff looks perfect in the blinding color melting lights of the store and not so perfect in the natural lighting of … reality.

That was a resourceful plan.  Unfortunately,  I couldn’t use the credit to buy groceries or vaccines, so I did the next best thing and prudently bought myself new creams and make-up that probably won’t look good in reality either.  I may have, in a hopeless attempt to feign normalcy, wrapped those items and given them to my husband to give me for Valentine’s day.  Don’t judge, the manager said I could bring back anything that was barely used.  Under that premise, I’m going to try to return my diaphragm to Walgreens tomorrow.

As is obvious, I am using as many creative saving outlets as possible.  Yesterday, I caught myself thriftily gazing upon my husband’s pile of dry cleaning and wondering how much of it a little spritz, elbow grease, and a strong wind couldn‘t fix.  That thought gave me quite a chuckle and then I spit on the stains, rubbed them together, and blew them with my hair dryer.  It worked… I may have discovered the “Ancient Chinese Secret.“  Let‘s keep that one between us.  I’m using the money I saved to stave off my barista for couple weeks.

This morning I went so far as to wrap a barely read book for Ryan’s book exchange.  Actually, that one kinda falls under laziness.  A big sorry to the recipient, I think the one time we read it, Ryan had hand foot mouth, but I’m sure the dog hair tumbleweeds and pet dander in my house just scrubbed those germs right off.

PS  I am still negotiating with said barista.  He countered my offer with a week of free Grandes with extra whip (wink wink).  To which I replied, “Make them Ventis, and we got a deal.”  He drives a hard bargain, but I am confident that I am coming out ahead on this one, pun always intended.

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13 thoughts on “Is it just me or does money seem tight these days?

  1. Cherie

    I’m going to start bringing you my cleaning only if you are less than the guy who picks up here at work. Also, I could use a new cleaning lady, would you like the job? And I guess you’re going to start charging me for dinner, Wednesdays. But if that’s the case, I’m going to have to stop bringing flowers. Keep writing those funny quips.

  2. Wilern

    Check the sentence, Ryan had hand foot mouth. We know what you meant. The next time you invest, considder the .Coms. Maybe your husband could get a job at Starbucks. Two birds with one stone, weekly paycheck, etc.

  3. Alison

    We are all feeling it Jenny! The days of ol’ at UM are far gone. Our outrageous trips to Lincoln Road to clean out all of the latest fashions from the hottest boutiques almost seem like a distant dream. But no worries if bartering in today’s world still gets our fixes fulfilled, a BJ here and there is well worth the trade! Good luck and don’t forget to ask your Barista if you can get more bang for your buck if you swallow!

    PS…Wilern I find it humorous that you are correcting Jenny’s grammar when you obviously need a bit of spell-check help too!

  4. Karen B. Rosenberg

    You poor girl! Love the barista bartering. Wish my job came with suck perks – I mean such perks! (pun intended here, too….)

  5. rachy

    be careful what you’re returning to Walgreens! with an expected “bonus” addition to the family, you may have to renegotiate the terms with your barista…………..

  6. Monique

    Resourceful gal that you are – that “Ancient Chinese Secret” could net you another source of income! Can’t wait to hear how negotiations with your Barista come out. ; )

  7. Jenee

    A must read for just about everyone…Thanks for making everyone chuckle about such a very common and rough subject!

  8. Tess

    Having lived most of my life in Africa, I cannot imagine being upset because someone close never gave me a present. When I came to America, I had culture shock for the first time in my life. People expected things from others that it had never occurred to me to even want…

    My daughter alternates with comments to me, “Mummy, we are so poor, we didn’t even notice there was a recession.” or “Mummy, I’m so thankful. We have so much.”

    I guess, perspective is everything.

  9. Ediana

    oh, boy… bj for coffee… maybe you could exchange half cup for three former wall street advisers… and then you’ll get (a) content for your next column, (b) a cleaning person for Cherie, (c) a present for you/your husband, maybe? lol… loved your sense of humor….

  10. Kristy

    You mean you never knew how to spit clean clothing before? You won’t believe how much money you’ll can save! Way to be frugal! Love your blog. You’ve got a great sense of humor =)


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