Interested in Babies Would Say if They Could Talk?

Baby Ryan, based on someone I know all too well, is the knew blogger on Baby Banter, which is run by the fabulous site SheKnows.com. I say it’s time for those kids to pull their weight. Chicken fingers, pizzas, and hotdogs don’t pay for themselves, you know? Once my kids hit Kindergarten it’s time to pay the piper. So, along those lines, Ryan is a working baby writer. Sure, it was hard to teach her how to type, but I put her in front of the keyboard and told her she couldn’t have dessert until she could type 60WPM. Let me tell you about the power of a black and white cookie.

She also happens to be hilarious!!! I will list her posts here and if you’re intrigued click the link. Here’s her bio, so you know what you’re in for.

Ryan “The Rockstar”
Whassup, I’m Baby Ryan. Here’s what you should know about me, first of all, I’m a girl — people get confused by the name and lack of hair on my head. As you may have guessed by my advanced vocabulary, I’m crazy smart. I have an uncanny knack for telling it like it is, but deep down I’m still a big mush. Sure, I’ve been called ornery and stubborn, but those qualities are certain to help me at Kindermusik when some stinky little crybaby tries to steal my tambourine.

Contrary to common belief, I understand everything you weird, cooing people are saying. I’m also pretty sure that I’m royalty of some sort because you all act like my servants. It seems that many of you are simply here to entertain and amuse me, while the rest of you wait on me hand and foot. I don’t have to walk anywhere, scrounge for food or even lift a spoon for that matter. I can get insanely dirty and someone just cleans me up. Even more astounding, when I get you people dirty, you simply laugh and wipe the pureed bananas out of your hair. Best of all, I don’t have to poop in that crazy hole that sucks out your soul through your bottom. I simply need to cry (I wish someone would get me a bell) and you’re at my beck and call. Being a baby rocks!

Ryan’s Profile:

Age: 9 months

Likes: Catching sight of my future BF Zuma Rossdale in a magazine

Hates: The short annoying kid they call my brother and my “Spit Happens” bib

Favorite Word: No

When I grow up: Me and Zuma will live happily ever after

Post: Seriously? Not the Pea Plane Again!

7 thoughts on “Interested in Babies Would Say if They Could Talk?

  1. Baby Quinn

    I only eat peas straight from mom’s organic garden. You know, that thing in the yard she’s always yelling at because nothing grows fast enough. She means well, but I’ll take Cheetos over pea poo any day, lady. I like bright orange fingers – they help me mark my territory.

    Reply
  2. Cherie

    This was how I fed your mother all the time. Especially the airplane, she loved the soaring in the air of the spoon. The other great feeding ploy was to have a party in her stomach, that really worked. But I guess you are too smart for that one.

    Reply
  3. Beth

    My biggest nightmare!!! I walked in on my parents and I think I was scarred for life. Now, I go out of my way to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself!

    Reply

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