Happy Fathers Day to my Stubborn Hubby From Your Bitchy Wife

cat couple card

I know, you’re like, bring on the water works.  I mean with a title like that there’s bound to be a sentimental, emotionally charged poem to follow, right?  Well, you’ll have to see, but (Spoiler Alert), probably not .  Not all of us have perfect marriages.  Frankly, most of us don’t and I kinda think that’s OK.  There’s some value in being a sometimes sucky wife –  just ask my hubby…

I’m like many of you – going at the last minute to buy some cheesy cards that cost $5 bucks a pop and do little more than add to deforestation. I avoid the overly-sweet ones with watercolor painting on the front because my marriage isn’t perfect and the sentiments in those cards don’t quite reflect my feelings. So, I go with humor.

In fact, I’ve noticed that my husband and I have this weird tendency to re-buy the same multi-fold-out cards for each other on our respective holidays year after year.

The Father’s day card has a cat couple and it goes something like this:

“Sometimes I’m bratty when I don’t get my way,

Sometimes I’m bossy and have too much to say.

Blah blah blah, buuuuut I really love you! Have a great Father’s day.”

That’s the general gist anyway. It’s basically an apology for being a naggy and annoying.

The Mother’s day version is similar – a cat couple is fighting and the male cat’s all, “I’m sorry I’m so stubborn, but we always find our way.”

Then the cat couple is driving and the dad cat is lost and he won’t ask for directions and Mom’s looking back at the kittens, shrugging her shoulders, while on the phone (probably calling her lawyer).

Then they’re watching a sports game and the mom cat’s running in circles around the house with the kitties in tow while the dad cat’s ignoring her and he’s all, “Sometimes I get wrapped up in other things, but I always spend the commercials with you guys.”

Then the dad cat’s looking at the price tag of a really expensive pair of Jimmy Mews that the mom cat is at the register paying for because she feels she’s earned them.  (Which she clearly has, because the male is portrayed as a cat schmuck who never asks for directions and only pays attention to the family during the commercials.)

The dad cat looks at the Jimmy Mews and hisses, “We don’t always see eye to eye, but we always compensate.” In the next picture I think he’s cutting up her credit card and throwing the pieces in the air like confetti.

Then the mom cat is taking the kitties to go stay with her family and the a male is drunk and trying to get with some young calico he met in the alley.  But, the calico wants money for services rendered and the dad cat gets a beat down and then he slinks back to the cat-in-laws and he’s all “We always work it out, ‘cause making up is the best part!”

Or something like that … I’m paraphrasing.

Look, Mother’s day was a few months ago, so I may have embellished a bit, but you get the picture. It’s an apology for being a crappy, inattentive, stubborn, annoying husband, buuut it’s okay ’cause they make up in the end.

So this year, I picked up one of those cards and was about to buy it.  Then I thought, I don’t need to apologize for arguing or nagging, that’s what couples do sometimes … even one’s who are in love. Yes, my husband is stubborn and I am bitchy, but we love each other. I don’t want to make light of my annoying ways through a rhyming apology that is only cute because of cat personification. We’ve been married quite a while, he knows my flaws and he’s thankful that I’m cute and cuddly.

So, I got a card that was perfect. Yes, it had cats, but the message was that he’s a great dad cat and my kids and I are lucky to have him.

Does he do things that are annoying?

Daily.

Frustrating?

Hourly.

Does he leave crumbs on the counter and forget to change light bulbs?

Uh ha.

Is he a fabulous dad? 

Without question!

Is he there for me when I need him?

Always.

That might not have been a quality I dreamed my husband would have on my wedding day, but now, it’s the one I am most thankful for.

To all the other Husbands and Dads, mine especially, I hope you have a fabulous Father’s day and that there are spouses and children out there that appreciate all you do.

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15 thoughts on “Happy Fathers Day to my Stubborn Hubby From Your Bitchy Wife

  1. Bari

    Beautifully stated.brought tears to my eyes. ( oh I forgot my eye drops this morning and to say Barry “Happy Father’s Day. )

    Reply
  2. regena

    So the crumbs on counter is a male cat thing huh? Glad I’m not the only girl cat learning to appreciate the whole package…crumbs and all:-)

    Reply
  3. cherie

    That’s the card I bought…Life is just like a bunch of cats, at least at my house. I even found the perfect cat cards for by husband from the cat.

    Reply
  4. JustMe

    Anyone who claims to have a perfect marriage scares me.

    It’s not possible. So they’re lying.

    And then it’s like, “what else are you lying about? EVERYTHING?!”

    Reply
  5. Julia's Math

    You know what card we need collectively (maybe just my husband and me but I feel there are more like us than not)? A Happy Therapist Day card. I would buy the shit out of that. I don’t have a perfect marriage, but the three of us do our best. And most of the time it’s pretty great.

    Reply
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