My Gecko is Cleaner than Your Gecko


Alright, please don’t take that as a sexual reference, it means exactly what it says.  My gecko is cleaner than yours… so, don’t challenge him to a clean competition, ‘cause he’ll win.

As it turns out living in Florida is like living in a remake of Jurassic Park, on a smaller scale.  Like the miniature Stonehenge, for all you Spinal Tap fans.  The bugs are the size of softballs and the reptile life runs rampant… through my house.  Anyone who has been to Florida knows that lizards cross the roads and sidewalks with the frequency of jay-walkers in NYC.

Up north, where I am originally from, you might be lucky enough to see a majestic deer or cute little baby bunnies bouncing through your yard, but here you see the kind of things that eat cute little baby bunnies.  What I am shocked at, is how used to it I have become.  So much so, that I showered with a gecko the other day.  Please, all you sickos, clearly there was no funny business, though I did loofah his back for him.  He was just hanging out on the wall and rather than go get the cup to catch and release him, I simply went about my normal showering process.  You know, lather, rinse, repeat.

It gave me a little chuckle, but what really made me laugh was when I told my son that evening about the shower scene and he said that he too showered with the same lizard an hour before.  He of course played with the little guy, which makes me question whether soap ever made it to any of my son’s parts at all.  Though I’m sure the gecko got a thorough cleaning and is certainly missing his tail.  I said, “We must have the cleanest gecko ever,” which actually sent us into hysterics.

When my husband got home, we relayed our tale to which he said, “Yeah I showered with him this morning.”  I don’t know what this says about my family.  Are we all too lazy to remove a lizard?  Are we a bit promiscuous, taking showers with any Tom, Dick, or Lizard that enters the stall?  or Have we become so accustomed to them, that we are part of their ecosystem? Like Jane Goodall and those chimps.

I do know that if you come to my house, you’ll see a shiny lizard that smells like grapefruit conditioner and prefers air drying over being briskly toweled off.  Well, Jake would know more about that.

13 thoughts on “My Gecko is Cleaner than Your Gecko

  1. Henrik

    You’ve gotta catch your gecko to breed it. The geckos I have down here in Mexico never wash and use all night playing crap game. Sure could need some educate competition.

  2. cherie

    I cried laughing. I too have a gecko tale. We have one that torments our cat every morning by running up and down the glass block window in our bathroom. Our cat (Cleo) can be found sitting by that window every morning before sunup to watch the gecko move from block to block. She stares with a deep desire to catch that lizard, but alas she is foiled everytime she makes her attempt to bite, pounce or even bat at it, as she can’t get through that glass block, to her dismay. I have the most frustrated cat around. Next week I am sending her to the Cat Psychaitrist.

  3. Barry

    I’m so glad to hear your “gecko” is clean. I heard on the news, Child Gecko Services raided a house near you and removed all Geckos due to unclean conditions. In order to get them back, the homeowner promised to grow grass in the living and bedroom areas, to provide a healthy atmosphere for them. You’re doing a great job and will probably be recognized by the UGS ( United Gecko Society) for an award at their next function.

  4. rachy

    i once took a shower with a beatle (in new jersey). it was the ’60s, but he wasn’t named john, paul, george or ringo.

    i once visited a friend living in florida — she wanted me to sleep in a room off the garage with a few resident palmetto bugs! that’s a fancy name for flying cockroaches. i slept on the living room couch instead.

    i’m glad i live in the northeast where the winter kills off most of the bugs!

    florida is meant for bugs and other critters, not people. every bug from ants to spider are much bigger and fiercer in florida. and look at the size of that mouse that lives outside orlando!

  5. Rachel

    We have a lot of geckos around here too… but I can honestly say, your gecko is the cleanest! Don’t know if I’ve ever bathed with one… haha. Thanks for the laughs.

  6. Insanitykim

    Much like the spider that so graciously sets up her web so I can limbo onto and off of my patio, and the honeybees I feed sugar water to, and the wolf spiders I re-locate outside, and the house centipedes I turn a blind eye to because they eat everything else I hate. Yeah, look up house centipedes. Your gecko is fab!

  7. jenna mccarthy

    I grew up in California, where we euphemistically referred to roaches (that you couldn’t stop on because they were actually larger than the sole of your shoe) “Palmetto Bugs.” Much more benign. Now I live in California, and I have showered with spiders the size of a mouse pad. It’s actually a good excuse not to shave your legs.

  8. Pingback: I Miss the Smell of Snow - A Floridian Gets a Bit Nostalgic - Wanna Trade? | The Suburban Jungle

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