About two years ago I was diagnosed with Orthostatic Sycopate. See: ( A Trip to the Cardiologist and How to Bloat up Fast for more on that) Anyway, bottom line: An electrical malfunction can happen with a sudden change in position that can cause a rapid drop in blood pressure… blood doesn’t get to the brain, brain is deprived of O2 and you lose consciousness. Now, since the diagnosis I haven’t passed out, though I’ve felt close a couple times. Well, yesterday was one of them. I realized that the Fat Burn powder boost the woman at Paradise smoothie put in my drink wasn’t exactly what my system needed. Well, I’m sure it didn’t help that the scoop of chromium picolinate and whatever else wasn’t going into a heart healthy shake, but rather a blend of soy milk, fro yo, and espresso. I know what you’re thinkin… yum right? Frankly, I needed that fat burn boost just to combat the calories in that one drink alone. Anywho, racy and overheated, I lied down on the floor and put my feet up on the wall… to get blood to my brain.
Me: “Um, Jack, I think I might pass out”
Jack: Frantically, “I’m calling 911.”
Me: Calmly, “Don’t call 911. I mean if I’m standing and just fall over, call 911, but if I mention it might happen and it does… call Daddy and he’ll tell you what to do.”
Jack listened and absorbed the pertinent course of action. Then he looked at me on the floor, “Um, okay. Bye” He then walked out and I heard the chime of someone continuing a game on Wii.
Me: “Uhh, Jack. JAAAACK”
Me: “I hate to interrupt your game, but could you come back for just a sec?”
Jack: Pause button hit, “What’s up?”
Me: “A minute ago you were ready to call 911 and then ‘bye?’ You don’t even want to stick around for a few minutes and make sure I stay conscious? How would you even know if I passed out?”
Jack: (In the same matter of fact way he said bye) “Okay.”
He then sat on the bed and asked me questions about calling 911 like, “Would they get mad if he called and I woke up?” Or “How do they know where to go?” Distracted by his own line of questioning he sat for another minute or two hopped off the bed and said “Okay, bye.”
Well, there goes the retirement home.