I once wrote an ode to my breastfeeding boobs. Oh, I kid you not. Look, after having kids one must bid those pre-pregnancy boobies adieu and those full, perfectly round breastfeeding boobies well, they have to go buh-bye too. Unless you want your child asking for “Mommy’s Milk” to drink along with the steak he can chew and possibly cut all by himself. In return for being selfless life makers, we get half full water balloons to shove into our bras and push up for parties … or for the peeps like me, who had nothing to begin with: cat boobs. Yes, I’m sure you’re picturing that lovely image. Sadly, it was my daughter who alerted me to the fact that I had cat boobs, which immediately reminded me of the scene in Meet the Parents when Ben Stiller explains how one can milk a cat teats. That thought alone causes a gag reflex. So, I guess the question is — how can we perk up those puppies, hoist those hooters, lift those lactoids and fill those flapjacks? Duh.
I answered those questions in my Smart Beauty Blog Post this week (you know where I research everything that bugs us Gen Xers about aging?): The 4 BEST WAYS To Get Fuller Lifted Tatas – FROM MY FAVORITE t-shirt bras to the best braccoutremants (I totes coined that term) like, chicken cutlets to the fat transfer and non surgical breast lift and enhancement methods (I’m currently obsessed with) – to the holy grail. (And there’s a giveaway because Smart Beauty Guide so rocks: GloTheraputics Volumizing Breast Cream – $65)
It says it – “Stimulates blood flow and moisturizes the breast area. This leads to higher concentration of lipid accumulation, enhancing curves and encouraging fuller breast volume. glo therapeutics Volumizing Breast Cream safely and effectively nourishes the skin while creating a youthful look.”
Do I know if it works? No clue. Right about now, I’d install a Reebok breast pump if they made it. Plus, it’s free and ASAPS is sending me one too, so we can rub our boobies together. No wait – that came out wrong.
To Win – Read my post on the best bras and other ways to get awesome fuller lifted boobage and share it on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest with #whygravitywhy and feel free to like @Smart Beauty Guide on FB for any other giveaways and info.
Of course, feel free to share this with any mammary impaired mamas!
This post was Sponsored by SmartBeautyGuide.com – where I write a blog for us Gen Xers and mamas! There is no product or procedure affiliation, which means my post topics are my choice and my findings are completely based on my opinions.