Dear Readers (Day 25-30ish at Camp Lenox),
Last night was my first night sleeping at Camp Lenox, I know I asked for it. I was staying in the creepy Mom Sorority House and yes, I wanted to move and be in the thick of things. Sure, the Mom House basement looked like the set of American Horror Story. Sure, I complained about the crooked walls, creaky floors and chipping paint, but that was child’s play compared to this. Actually, camp is child’s play and the Sorority house was cushy Mom’s Play, but I think you get the point.
That said, I let you guys pick my room on Facebook and you picked option 2: (The “spacious” 1 Bedroom/ 1 Bath with my own bathroom, limited access to AC and a gross mattress — that had this label on it…
Well, you guys did point out that it would feel more campy to have a used mattress and that the A/C was the strongest selling point. I guess I should’ve mentioned, all the kids have new mattresses and apparently, there is NO need for A/C around here. I would’ve mentioned it, but I didn’t realize these things until I it was too late.
You seeeeeeeeee, last night was what they call a “three blanket night.” This basically means you’re going to freeze your ass off without three blankets, which is awesome because I only have one. I may or may not have huddled under my comforter with my flashlight for warmth. And I may or may not (while shivering under there) have been lulled by the soothing sounds of a screeching fisher cat.
For those of you, like me, who have never heard of a fisher cat before, it’s not what you’d expect — a cat who catches it’s own dinner, like this: Or one made of wood that carries a little mini cat rod like this: No, apparently, it’s more like this (which by the way is a weasel type predator that doesn’t even carry a fish around. I know, WTF???)
At 6 AM, after not getting much rest, the camp dog, Ollie was howling and barking at something that I’m pretty sure was under my cabin and was most likely a dead fisher cat … or worse, a live one.
I huddled back under.
It felt like mere minutes had passed when Reveille trumpeted over the loud-speaker. I have to admit, I got a kinda warm and fuzzy sentimental feeling at that moment. I mean isn’t this why I begged to be here? To wake up to Reveille? To walk out to the smell of dewy morning mountainy camp air? To shuffle down to the dining hall all bleary eyed and cozy in my fluffy camp pjs and Uggs?
It was, but that wistful feeling lasted about 2.2 seconds because the wake up call was followed by a slew of announcements about rising and shining. I didn’t feel rise-y or shiny.
After cursing the sun … and the dog … and the fisher cat who can’t even fish … I settled back into my insufficient blanket situation and attempted to go back to sleep, but without pause, the speakers started blasting a medley of songs at full rave volume, which lasted about 25 minutes and seemed to get louder with time.
This is when I realized I’m a glutton and should possibly repack my things… It is also the time I had the following conversation in my head:
What is happening?
Does this music ever end?
Does this happen every day?
Why is my heart beating so fast? Do I have a heart condition?
RP, the announcement guy should watch his back because I’m going to sick a fisher cat on him!
Why am I so bitter?
Where is the coffee?
I don’t remember needing coffee when I was a camper.
Is that light coming in by the floor big enough for a rodent to fit into or just spiders?
Why did I think that … like spiders be ok? I hate spiders.
Crap, I don’t look good rolling out of bed anymore…. I need some makeup.
Is it totally against the rules for one to put on makeup when rolling out of bed at camp?
No, I’m supposed to put my hair in a ponytail and head out.
I can do this.
I mean aren’t people so proud of themselves for taking those No Filter/No Makeup Selfies?
Yeah, but are they around a bunch of even skinned toned fresh-faced youth? I think not.
I probably need a bra, right? Do I need a bra? I mean, technically, I don’t, but should I be around children without one on?
OK Jenny, you’re gonna miss breakfast and how are you not running out to enjoy the Keurig that finally came??? (SPOILER ALERT — MORE ON THAT TO COME)
Throw on a bra and run out.
OK maybe a little blush, don’t want to look dead.
And maybe a little eyeliner.
No that’s too obviously fresh, smudge it up, so it kinda looks like residue that you didn’t wash off last night (which I would never do… Hello, clogged pores).
Yes, that’s good.
And Jenny, welcome to camp!
PLEASE, SHARE SHARE SHARE THIS BACK TO CAMP SERIES WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND JOIN THE INSANITY ON FACEBOOK
~ Jenny From the
PS Color war broke so look out for that craziness. (You may want to watch meatballs as a study guide).