Beware of Grandmas Wielding Reddi-Wip.

This one is tough for me to write. While finding the irony in the situation, the neurotic part of me still gets a pit thinking about it. My children had a sleep over at my Father and Step Mother’s house this weekend. Like any overly anxious mom, I am not capable of total relaxation when they are away because I am unapprised of their minute to minute safety status and whereabouts.

To make matters worse a sleepover at their house is like a carnival. They go from arcades to movies to the beach to the boat to Dunkin’ Donuts often in a 4hr span. Getting in touch with them in near impossible and guessing which activity they are doing, even harder. What if my parents make a bad decision? What if they feed them food that is not cut small enough or let them ride the escalator at the mall alone…in their flip-flops!? What if they don’t account for the beach’s undertow? What if they lose them, step on them, dehydrate them, don’t apply enough sunblock?! These types of things worry me, actually all types of things worry me, down to the pillow placement on their beds and if my son, who sleeps in my antiquated brass bed, will get a limb or worse, his head stuck in the unregulation sized slats.That being said, I had a lovely dinner with my husband and a glass of champagne, or two, or a bottle lessens the concerns. The next day we went to pick up the kids and stayed for a BBQ. It was at said BBQ that the offense occurred. We were having desert, fresh fruit and Redi whip. Like butter, cheese or chocolate, whipped cream makes anything edible. My children, having control of the whipped cream can, joyfully and excessively sprayed it in heaping mounds, masking the fruit below. Squirt, squirt…air.

My step mother grabbed the can walked towards the trash then stopped as if a light bulb went off above her head. “Who wants to suck out the air and talk funny?” she said with the enthusiasm of an eight year old.

“Um the preteens that hang out by the dumpsters in the grocery store parking lots, maybe.”

“Huh?”

“That’s not helium in there, that’s a whippet.”;”>Whippet: Slang term for the inhalant drug “Nitrous Oxide.” Use causes a momentary lightheadedness due to a depletion of oxygen to the brain. In worst cases can lead to brain damage, and SSD (Sudden Sniffing Death). People also risk falling and getting a concussion.

“I’ve never done it, I just remember hearing something about it.”

“I remember hearing something about hypodermic needles on the beach, but I’m not going to play Doctor with them.”

I was trying to play it off, but my heart was pounding. In my minimal experience with whippets, I remember falling on my dorm room bed, giggling and most likely killing enough brain cells to forget the SAT words I had spent the previous year trying so desperately to drill into my head.

I have no idea what that rush would do to a 4 and 7 year old, and THANK G-D no one was finding out! Ahhh, something new to add to the list… fear of grandparents offering my children recreational drugs. A new concern, a fear I would have never imagined and I imagine some far fetched scenarios.

In all seriousness, I will use this as a warning. Take a moment to make sure your parents know that sucking the air out of whipped cream cans, computer dusting cans (Dusting), and air-horns is very dangerous and should never be used as a game. It seems so obvious to us, but intelligent people who were not teenagers beyond the 80’s may have no idea.

20 thoughts on “Beware of Grandmas Wielding Reddi-Wip.

  1. Cherie

    Well, I was born way before th 80’s, but I do know that sucking the air out of a whipped cream can is very dangerous. I remember the stories of children getting high off of sucking these cans in the grocery stores. Actually, I’d much rather sniff glue.

    Reply
  2. The Business Coach for Moms

    Ummm, Jenny I hate to tell you this but…she knew that that’s dangerous. But she’s a STEP mother so what do you expect?! Never, never, never let them go over there again! Only trust your mom. Moms are God’s angels to us. Your mom prefers the simple glue sniff, safe, old fashion and non-toxic!

    Reply
  3. Crandma whippet

    Grandma’s Wisdom:
    1. A can a day keeps the doctor away
    2. Stir the pot- I mean smoke it
    3. Better living through chemistry
    4. Busy kids equal good behavior and a great night sleep
    5. OOOOh, Just did a whippet….I’m fffffaaallllliiiiin-g

    Given with Love,
    Jake, Ryan, Buddy and Tanners’ grandmother
    a.k.a. your step-monster

    p.s. next time (if there is one) I’ll remember it’s the balloons that make the funny voice- good to know when I so some “carny’ work

    Reply
  4. Jennys Dad

    Now that you know about the Whippet, it’s time we fess up. We tell the kids about dangerous Rip Currents and naughty people at the beach; before we read or nap. We watch the kids riding the escallator and try hard to correct them when they go Up the Down escallator. Most of the time they listen. It’s a lie that they boat without life preservers. Most of the time they wear them, well… Sometimes it’s too hot or they won’t obey. Occasionally we have to use Corporal Punishment. When we take them to an arcade, or a movie ,we always look for nice people to help us, ie take them to a bathroom. Most often we can find a girl or woman to take Ryan, we do our best. If this doesn’t meet your expections, ship the kids to your other dad and stepmom. Love you.

    Reply
  5. admin Post author

    All of my readers have fabulous senses of humor even the one’s I poke fun at. It must be genetics that made me insane.

    Reply
  6. rachy

    hey, jenny, once they become grandparents, they can’t be held liable for anything that goes wrong with your kids. yep, that’s your worry 24/7/365.

    but think of the benefits: some years from now, when the prince and princess have their own families, you can be the crazy grandma! (start plotting now!)

    Reply
  7. GenniferwithaG

    I once bought Redi Whip for a dessert and my kids were doing the same thing. I had the same reaction, knocking the can away from them and then testing them by putting on Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” on youtube. Thankfully, they were NOT high or impressed with Pink Floyd and I never bought Redi Whip again. The End.

    Reply
  8. Cristie

    Hey Jenny-
    Let’s set up another playdate for the kids… I could go buy some mousetraps for Jake and Sydney to play with or we can let them swim in parka jackets… Fun, Fun!!!
    Loved the story!

    Reply
  9. Visitor from AZ

    I was googling a produce…handi-foil marinating pans and for some reason I came across this link. I really don’t know how and why but I decided to read your blog. I have to say it was great. I’m a mother of three, 7 months, 6 years, and 11 years. Grandma watches all while I work and there have been a few times where I’ve had to tell Grandma that what she thought was ok 30 years ago isn’t okay today. It’s amazing how times have changed. I too worry about my kids when they leave for a sleep over or traveling to see family without me. I’m the crazy mom that calls to remind them not to do this or that and to remind sister to watch brother. I too have worried about the escalator, swimming, bathroom time, and the worst one for me….snacking all day on junk.

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  10. ChristyB

    I knew it wasn’t good for you but didn’t realize it was “whippet” bad/dangerous. Good to know. I have 3 boys; 15, 16 & 22; too old to care about redi whip. Maybe just sticking to Cool Whip is the safest way to go!Didn’t have a step-Gma, I just had my very well intentioned mother-in-law who’s favorite things to say were; “Well, that’s NOT the way I used to do it”! “I used to do it that way ALL the time and MY kids turned out just fine!” my very favorite, “Here let ME show you how you’re SUPPOSED to do it the RIGHT way!” I still worry just as much but I worry about different things now. The 16 year old will be driving without me in a week. I am having so many mixed emotions! Happy one minute… completely terrified for the rest of the time!

    Reply
  11. Heidi

    It’s good to know that even if in jest, other mom’s have those crazy worrysome thoughts when their children are out of their sight.

    I was shocked the first time my very strict and scary dad showed me something they taught my son when he was about 4, pounding his fork and knife on the table while waiting for dinner chanting “We want food”.
    It funny how different the relationships are between parent/child and grandparent/child.

    You are a terrific writer!

    Reply
  12. Insanitykim

    I have been gone so long it’s like I don’t know you anymore. You’re like, vlogging and whatnot and I have so much to read and learn, like that crazy sitting on chairs hoopla (where you do LEARN that stuff?) Glad to see we still have our inflated mommy fears to share though. Nothing bonds moms like irrational vigilance against the unknown and controlling the universe!!!

    Reply
  13. Gramma Denice

    Just so you don’t lump us all together, some of us Gramma’s really do respect our kids wishes when it comes to THEIR kids. (think it stems from previous mom’s and experiences and the age old, “I’m not going to be like MY mother” syndrome).
    My girls were athletic, typical country tom-boys and shown under the hood of a car just as much as how to read a recipe.
    SO my daughter was pretty surprised when my reactions are AAAH! or eeek (that sucking in sound when you grab your breath in) or “you let her do that? when her 18 month old was mastering stairs, or climbing the slides. She would laugh but finally commented “Mom you weren’t that way with us? how come now? what’s up with that?”
    At first I really couldn’t answer her, then I realized, not only did I not want to witness another generation of injuries (forgetting I would not be the one to dry the tears or bandage the hurt, or make a run to the emergency room) but I finally figured it out.
    The next time she saw my reaction and really starting picking on me for being the nervous Nellie, I was ready with my answer:
    “well, you and your sister were MINE, if I broke ya, couldn’t blame anyone but myself. But my grandkids, well, they’re not mine, they’re yours! I have to return in one piece, just as you brought them cause if I break one of THEM, I can’t make another one! ”
    She thought it was hilarious.

    Reply

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