Last week, I wrote this sarcastic commentary about all the common things THEY say could kill you because I’m one of those people who feels a couple neurotic thoughts short of building myself a bubble. I try to heed as many warnings and be conscientious. And then a guy gets sucked out of his bedroom by a sinkhole and my worrying process got thrown on its head!
Dear Sinkholes –
Really? Really? Swallowing people from their bedrooms as they do Sudoku? That seems even beneath you and you’re pretty low. I’m already trying to deal with all my concerns from the BPA in bottles to the over use of hand sanitizers and then you come along and throw everything outta whack because now I have to worry about my safe space? The area where I can watch a marathon of RHOBH and no one has to know. The place where my family can enjoy board games together, get in from the cold or the rain or simply sit on our respective iDevices and ignore each other (if we so choose).
Pretty much everything can kill you these days and you’ve gone and ruined plan B: Become a famous family of hermits who live a cozy safe life at home, all padded up like in a Cottonelle commercial. I hope you’re happy sinkholes.
You’re supposed to be more like the stuff of legend and bad horror movies, like big foot and quick sand (don’t say quick sand is real), and the national debt.
Now, I have to worry that when we’re home watching some innocuous episode of So Random you could devour our home and that wouldn’t even be sooo random. In fact, I’m afraid to let my family watch that particular show because that’s probably when you’ll strike — simply to be ironic. Thanks Sinkholes, now you’ve ruined my ability to be comfortable in my own home and So Random.
– Woman who is pricing out bubbles
PS I’m becoming a wandering nomad, so don’t bother.
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