If you’ve been reading me for a while, you know my son is the sentimental sensitive one and my daughter has the snark of Chelsea Handler, the attitude of an 80’s valley girl, and the comic timing of Conan O’Brien. She would also sell you down the river for tickets to a Katy Perry concert … maybe even a Kit Kat bar.
(It’s funny how kids can be so different from each other and still so clearly like their parents.)
Anyhoo, the other night my witty daughter and I were discussing what we will name our new kitty. (Which we haven’t found yet.) The conversation actually started because Ry was interested in what she should name her daughter when she has one.
Ry: “ Mom should I name my daughter Diamond, Texas, or Sapphire?”
Me: (Well, I guess I’ll be adding a stripper pole to that kid’s layette) You know those are way better names for a kitten?
Ry: Noooo, I was thinking we would name our kitten something cute, like Snowball or maybe Mr. Something.
Me: Ooh, I like that — we could name it after a famous Mister like, Mr. Burns, or Mr. Magoo.
Ry: I was thinking more like Mr. Nubs
Me: Really Mr. nubs? That makes him sound like a creepy cat amputee. (I’m thinking we need to talk a lot more before she’s allowed to name anything of importance.) Well, one of my favorite bloggers has a cat named Ferris Mewler (all crazy bloggers have cats, it’s a prerequisite). So why not name it after a variation of a famous person like, Will Feral? Get it? (snicker snicker) Feral?
Me: It’s what they call cats off the street.
Ry: No mommy I don’t get it. Plus I don’t like the name Will Ferrell for a man, why would I want it for my cat?
Me: Good point. What about Justin Biepurr?
Ry: No Way
Me: Clawwwdia Schiffer?
Me: Simon Meowal?
Ry: Mom are you serious?
Me: Paw-la Abdul?
Ry: Why are you naming all the people who were on American Idol?
Me: OK, better idea: Why can’t we just name it after someone famous. Like we could name our cat Angelina Jolie, or Jimmy Fallon. Then we could say stuff like, “I spent the day hanging out with Jimmy Fallon” or “Angelina Jolie just peed on your bed.”
Ry: Oh my G-d mom, “Harry Styles just licked me.”
Me: Yeah yeah, “Brad Pitt slept next to me last night.”
Ry: “Christina Aguilera needs her claws trimmed.”
(Wait, that one works in real life too… )
Me: “Oprah Winfrey chewed up the computer plug.”
“President Obama is sleeping in your closet.”
“Look, Cee Lo Green is licking his genitals again.”
Ry: Adam Levine coughed up a hairball.
G-d I love that kid.
RELATED POST: Let’s Name Our Dog Butt Munch
PS We’re accepting name ideas…
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