8 Reasons Not to Friend Your In Laws or Let them Read Your Blog

inlawecardHere are the Top Reasons Not to ‘Friend’ Your In-Laws/Parents on FB or Let Them Read Your Blog (both of which I’m totally guilty of):

You may regrettably hear this:

1.   “We tried that new position you mentioned and I have just one question…”

2.  “Is everything ok with money?  Your post about coupons/discount codes/the economy/stealing shampoos from hotel carts/insert penny pinching tip here…  has left us concerned.”

3. “Have you ever thought about couples therapy? We found some of your post titles rather worrisome, like:  I Cheated on my Husband with Christian Grey/ Sex or Oven Cleaning Husband For Sale: Motivated Seller, Why is My Hubby Such a Wuss When He’s Sick? …”

(Don’t judge fellow bloggers, I’m sure you have some doozies of your own.)

“And let’s not forget about that fight when you threw oyster crackers/hand-sanitizer/the remote/insert throwable item here… at your husband/our child and found it funny enough to write about.  We did not laugh.

4. “Have you considered hiring a nanny?  You mentioned in that post about how Mothers can’t do it all, that you must remember to expose the kids to sunlight, and water them daily.  We worry that you’re confused.”

5.  “Do you think you might be going color blind? We saw some pics on Instagram where the kids are looking a bit well, kindly put, Punky Brewster-esque.  And your caption did not seem to reflect concern.  Wait, is it the money again? We’d be happy to buy them matching socks… and shoes.”

It opens the door to unwanted discussions:

6. After you mention/write a post about Fifty Shades (no matter your stance), your mother and MIL will take that as fair game to discuss their thoughts on Christian Grey, sex toys, master/submissive relationships, and comparisons to their own sex lives (past and present).

You may hear something like this, I did: “I bet I lot of people thought those books were really dirty, but I was exposed to too much porn as VP of a video store chain, to be surprised.” Said my mom, gag, gag.

7. Due to content of your blog or update, you may be forced to broach a topic with a parent or in law that has a distinct before and after line. Like, now that you’ve written about vibrators and your family has commented on it, you can never go back to a time before that happened.

But, you’ll  wish you could, because times were so much simpler then.

And the top reason to never social network with said peeps:

8. If your spouse ever goes missing…  your in laws, and much of your family, will be quite sure you had something to do with it.  Well, your family may take your side, because they love you, but they’ll still ask to check your trunk.

PS – I found this agreement/warning/rules of engagement post for my in laws.  It was written 6 months after the inception of  The Suburban Jungle, as I was concerned about what they may infer from reading my blog.  Years later, they have cleared ripped up said agreement!

But, I still love you guys!

xo,

Jenny From the Blog

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23 thoughts on “8 Reasons Not to Friend Your In Laws or Let them Read Your Blog

  1. Abbie Gale

    Oh you made me laugh and I am hoping to be able to embrace the idea of my in-laws reading one day. I keep telling my husband he better not tell them! The morning I published my story “Why Can’t You Drop Off Your In-Laws at a Safe Haven No Questions Asked” I gave him warning I wrote that we were turning porn on in the guest bedroom in order to keep their new spouses from leaving them with us in the middle of the night. They can never read my blog.

    http://allthatmakesyou.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/why-cant-you-drop-your-in-laws-off-at-a-safe-haven-no-questions-asked-divorce/

    Reply
    1. Jenny from the blog Post author

      Ha, well it makes me want to read it and frankly, isn’t that the point. Um, to get me to read your blog?
      PS I thought everyone left porn running in the guest rooms. It makes you a gracious hostess!

      Reply
  2. Amy

    Love this, especially #8! “Officer, it’s right there in her blog! She said if he forgot their anniversary one more time, she’d MURDER him!”

    Reply
  3. Kristen Mae

    I’m totally guilty of this. And I have some awesome ALREADY WRITTEN yet unpublished blog posts that will probably never see the light of day, because they would most certainly irreparably damage my relationship with my husbands family, in particular his mother. Who lives with us. Ya hurd. Can you IMAGINE how many hilarious stories I have???? Yeah. Multiply that shit by ten. UGH.

    Reply
  4. Karla

    Oh Jenny. Touche! My boyfriend, in some deluded lets-get-lovin-with-the-psuedo-in-laws state of mind passed on my blog details to his mum. Now my fingers shake over the keyboard every time I write a blog. Wait til she reads my next blog about her son’s poor aim over the toilet bowl and washing basket. Keep bloggin!

    Reply
  5. Whorrified

    Gak! What could be worse than your in-laws reading about your vagina? YOUR MOTHER READING ABOUT YOUR VAGINA! Jenny you are too funny. I’m sure your mom can take it, since her vagina is what brought you here! xoxo

    Reply
      1. Whorrified

        Well may I just say that me and my VAGINA and thrilled to meet you and your VAGINA…and your blog. V funny!

        Reply
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  7. Kitt Crescendo

    Oh my hilarious! Unfortunately for me, those awkward moments with parents and in-laws are rarely through, my social networking. I was unlucky enough to be at my own bridal shower and talking about shoes when my mom Asian princess (and very religious) mother decides to share with a whole table that she wears sexy high heels (aka cfm pumps) to bed and that my step-dad loved it…and that she was able to christen the new bed this way without damaging the mattress. Let me tell you…I really wished in that moment that someone had invented soap that could wash an imagination clean again.

    Or, when I’d started to dabble in erotic writing, my husband, apparently proud of my work, decided to show it to his older brother. Yeah. Couldn’t look him in the eye for a while. LOL! Nice to know I’m not alone. Thanks for the laugh this morning!

    Reply

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