Lately, I’ve been thinking, maybe it’s time to throw in the towel, but then I noticed this… Last night, my site hit 1 MILLION views!!! Yes, I’m in the 1M club… One freaking million. To some that’s a couple of months or minutes, or decades. I’m not as good at math as I claim to be, but for me, it took 5 1/2 years. For me, it took tons of effort and pep talks and rebranding sessions.
When you consider that nearly half of those views were in 2013, 10% occurred in 2014 (which just started, hooray!) and 30% of the views were in 2012, you’ll realize that I spent the first 3 years blogging to no one! So, 1M needs to be noticed!
I tried counting to 1 million, just so that I could feel the gravity of this feat, but I stopped at 7… I wasn’t really committed to the task and frankly, it seemed like it would take a while, going by how long it took me to get to 7.
Now that I’ve hit this impressive and magical number, I’m going to quit. Thank you for reading *drops mic (pen) walks off stage (away from sofa)*
*Hears imaginary applause/encore and returns to take the stage (sits on sofa, next to Josie the pussycat)* “Fine, if you really want me to stay, I will. I assume by the clamoring and chanting of ‘speech, speech, speech’ you would like me to speak.
“Wow, what an honor. I didn’t even prepare anything *pulls paper from designer gown (Paul Frank PJs). I guess I should start with the little people, my children… and then maybe go in the obvious order from there: by height.
J and Ry, the loves of my life: You have been amazing during this process, saying hilarious things, allowing me to scar you with my anxiety and sick sense of humor, all in the name of creating a successful mommy blog, oh and because I’m raising you (that’s important too), which is why I never forget to feed you, water you, and expose you to sunlight (with spf 500 of course).
To Mark who is 6ft tall, so that makes you next (switching from tallest to shortest): Thank you for not knowing how to do so very many things around the house, for eating Doritos in bed, and for saying ridiculous things to me on a daily basis. It makes for just enough frustration to write excellent articles (like 22 Things My Husband Does that Annoy The Crap Out of Me) and FB status updates. Also, thanks for being my biggest supporter and my editor. I do so love you!
To my parents (who are shorter than Mark): Thank you for screwing me up just enough to make me both anxiety stricken and insecure, which led to my use of humor as a defense mechanism. For raising me in a chain of video stores, for getting me a Cabbage Patch Kid when the wait list was miles long, for letting me be a latchkey kid, and allowing me to watch television shows that were clearly not meant for a child of 5-12 years old ie. Mash, Soap, The Tonight Show, Fridays, In Living Color, Kids in the Hall, Monty Python, and SNL. You guys were and are the best parents and now friends an only child could have!
To my fans, many of whom I’ve never met in person (but I assume are really short) — there are too too many to list (more than 7), some of you have been with me since year one (when I only had 30k views, total) that’s like 4 views a day… I must have really sucked, but you saw potential and stuck with me, many of you w/ amazing blogs of your own, (if you haven’t read them, you should): RookieMoms, MammaSaid, LostinSuburbia, RockandDrool, MusingsOnMotherhoodMidlife, Jenna McCarthy, MakeALivingWriting, Weezafish, LaughingStalk, BadAunt, MomOffMeth, RachyThoughts, and my brilliant mentors RoleMommy,and Jessica DJ Burbtastic . THANK YOU for sticking with me!
To the multitude of therapists I’ve seen over the years, who are practically midgets: thank you for never fixing me! I’d probably be too even keeled to be amusing. I assume I paid for your children’s braces, so you should thank me!
To my friends and family (who are elf like fairies that live in a world made with findings from the home. Like two thread spools make a car): Who know that I may be transcribing our conversations at any given time and who are aware I would totally sell them down the river for a funny post. (see, I stabbed my MIL on Thanksgiving). Thank You all, and let’s step it up in 2014, throw in a divorce or two, would you? Something juicy… an affair… a stint in rehab… an attempt at singing in a band… an addiction to purple drank? Something!!! You guys can be so boring! *music starts to play* Susan, Tracey, Jamie, Jen, Amy *more music* Stephanie, Josie the pussycat, Pam, Bari, Paula, Candice, Stef, Cristie … the gaffer and best boy … who did I forget? You guys know who you are…
Lastly to those little sprites at some of my favorite sites where I write often: like TheStir, Huff Post Parents, YahooShine, CafeMom and one of my favorite peeps, the not so scary ScaryMommy …Thanks for getting it!
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Thank you all! And here’s to millions more views – in way less time, *swigs champagne (luke warm latte)*
Really, I do appreciate you all so much!
Jenny From the Blog