OK, without going into too much medical mumbo-jumbo, I’m supposed to have a new healthy diet, which includes cutting out most carbohydrates. Not fruits and veggies, but Starchy Carbs – like pasta, cereal, rice, baked goods, potatoes, and grains (YES, even if they’re made with yummy grains and oats and the gluten that comes with them). And Sugary Carbs — like desserts, sodas, juices, and sweets.
So, I shall explain what I’ve learned about these carbs and why they are so truly “sucky” and unhealthy (unless you do a ton of anaerobic activity), in this little vignette where the carbs are the hot guy from high school/college who you so desperately wanted — who can resist carb talk and 80s humor? (Be Warned: I’m a Gen Xer so my references may be dated).
It starts like this: First, you see the hot guy (donut, multigrain bagel, bbq potato chip, bowl of whole wheat spaghetti) and you think, Oooooh you’re cute, I totally want you. Your heart beats a bit faster and you do your best to impress. Now, I realize no one needs to impress a donut to eat it, though I will admit there are times I tell the donut how I’ve worked out earlier that day, in hopes that it doesn’t think I’m a gluttonous slob.
Hot Guy is up for a little conversation – you take a bite. (I mean of the donut, not the guy — this is a comparison remember?) Continue reading
Kacy Duke, the cofounder of Equinox and trainer to celebs like: Denzel, Bruce Willis, Julianne Moore, Mary J. Blige, Lenny Kravitz and Kirsten Dunst (to name a few), sat down with me via satellite to discuss fitness for Gen Xers and how it effects skin and aging.
I started by confessing that the first thing to go from my day is my workout… (Look, the next thing to go is my shower, so it’s not like my day involves drinking Margs by the pool), which is why I asked how she motivates busy Gen Xers like myself… and Julianne Moore? (What, like we’re not similar?) What we should do if we only had 15 minutes a day and how exercise can help with anti-aging.
The skincare through fitness tips included the Simple Sense Skincare Tool – a diagnostic tool that provides personalized steps and advice for mapping out a holistic skincare routine which includes all natural products, fitness, and other healthy lifestyle advice (I did this, it was really cool.)
Then we talked about Denzel and his abs!!! and she invited me to visit her and the Simple Advisory Board, but she meant on-line. Foiled again.
This post was sponsored, but frankly, I enjoyed asking a famous trainer how to apply her knowledge to real people.
Do you get zits from unwashed pillowcases or cellphones?
Will you age the way your parents age?
Do retinoids make you more susceptible to sun damage or sunburn?
What’s the magic ingredient you should look for in beauty products?
If you were a vampire, would you need anti-aging creams?
On this week’s Jenny Isenman Show, my favorite dermatologist, Dr. Doris Day is back! You know, the uber famous one I told you I would totally stalk? Well, she answers tons of my insane questions. Be warned, before you watch, some of the answers are awesome and some may totally piss you off.
Jenny From the Blog
The questions Dr. Day couldn’t answer: “When the f@ck did I get all these wrinkles.” and “Wasn’t I just going to my prom like last week?” Continue reading
Can someone explain why I still have “baby brain” when my kids aren’t babies anymore?
So, my Gen X-ers, many of us are years past changing diapers and yet we still seem to have Momnesia. Frankly, my memory … and ability to have a complete thought, has gotten exponentially worse with the birth of each child and the passage of each year.
Look, I can tell you the names of all the characters from The Facts of Life, or The Breakfast Club, but I have no idea where I left my keys, what pending appointments I have, or why I just walked into this room?!
On this week’s episode of The Jenny Isenman Show, my guest Sharon Rowley, (organizational expert/blogger and mom of 6 — freakin’ 6!), and I test our memories, discuss the stupidest shit we’ve done due to Momnesia, and talk tips to get through the day. Continue reading
OK, last week I started the, “Let’s NOT Allow Our Hubbies to Annoy Us, So We Can Have Better Marriages” experiment. We’ll pick one pet peeve per week that we’re going to ignore, until we all have the perfect, flawless, annoyance free marriage, I imagine Angie and Brad have.
This week we’re talking TRASH DAY (feel free to insert your own grievance).
We’ve lived in our home for about 9 years or 936 trash days. I know, most people prefer to count in years. Though, I think the British count in trash days or do they use the metric system? I’m not sure which. Anyway, we’ve had the same trash days (Mon. and Thurs.) every week.
Yet somehow, my husband forgot to take out the trash both days last week. Not just one day, which he’s usually good for, once every three weeks, I’m talking both! Frankly, I can’t wrap my head around it.
Forgetting trash day isn’t like forgetting to pick up toothpaste. One does not peek into the neighbor’s bathrooms to see if their tubes have run dry, nor do we all run out of Crest at the same time. HOWEVER, one does get a peek at the curbs of about 50 neighbors with large green plastic containers on the curb; and yep, our day is the same as everyone else’s.
Why doesn’t my husband notice the cans littering the street and turn back to set ours out when he’s mere feet from the house? I wonder. “There’s no conspiracy here honey, the neighbors aren’t putting out all their cans, simply to watch you turn around and put out ours, so they can snicker behind your back, “Dumbass, fell for it again! Hee hee hee, now let’s all go schlep our trashcans back into our garages,” high-fives all around!
“The garbage collectors are also not fucking with you, by changing up the days they will collect our junk. Nope, they have better things to do, like leaving the can in the direct path of my car, which often ends with me extracting it from the undercarriage and hoping it pops back into shape.” Those are the jokes they play, duh?
My husband’s standard response, “I forgot, and I didn’t notice all the other trashcans.” I get it, I’m no ogre, it was an honest mistake (made at a 1:6 ratio. Not that I’m counting), but he has like two weekly jobs around the house: trash and light bulbs.
Could you imagine if us moms just forgot 50% of our jobs any given week? Like, “Oops I forgot to feed the kids this week and seeing other people eat, or even eating myself didn’t remind me. But for the record, I also drove carpool this week and I got them to and from school everyday. Yep, I didn’t even miss one!”
So, this week, I won’t mention the trash once. Even though I noticed, just this morning, that there was a ton of recycling stuff in the regular bin – where it should NOT be. I also won’t breathe a word about all the stuff in the small cans in our office and bathrooms, which clearly weren’t emptied. No, I’m taking this experiment seriously. Zipped, are my lips.
On a side note, last week’s experiment went really crappy! I mentioned that my hubs parked in the farthest spot one time and noticed that he was too close to a car another time. I said, “Didn’t you read last week’s column about how much your parking annoys me!” To which he responded, “Yes, did YOU?”
Is it just me or does your husband have trashcan blinders too?
This week, on The Jenny Isenman Show, I’m discussing the best fixes for my most worthy adversaries: enlarged pores, wrinkles, sags, uneven skin tone, and cellulite, with the author of Forget the Facelift, (one of my dream guests) Dr. Doris Day. She kinda frequents all the morning shows: Good Morning America, The Dr. Oz Show, The View ... to name a few.
She’s even talked cutting-edge procedures with Barbara Walters on 20/20. I would totally stalk her if I had more time. I tell her about the stalking in our interview, and I’m not gonna lie, she looks nervous about it!
In the segment you will:
If you learned anything from the video, even if it’s that I was super cheesy in the 80’s or that Dr. Day has incredible legs, please like/share it and pass it on to your friends. I’m tryin’ to make this a full time gig!
Behind the scenes extra: I was sick as a dog when filming and Dr. Day offered to bring me to a walk-in clinic somewhere in the middle of Jersey City at 8PM. Smart, knows her stuff, chills with the stars, and is willing to hang with the sick girl, she was pretty incredible.
Jenny From the Blog