Are We All Pathetic Or Is It Just Me?

Example 1)  This morning’s alternating AOL headlines went something like this:  Car Dealers are desperate, month’s best deals. ‘Dancing’ reveals star replacement, see who it is. Part-time job market picking up, there may be hope. Obama to reverse stem cell policy.  Are you kidding me?  There is a replacement on dancing with the stars?  All of these crazy things are going on in politics the economy and world events and I’m pissed cause I have to wait for them to rotate around so I can find out who it is.

Example 2)  Last week I got in a blow out fight with Mark.  The kind that is so frustrating you want to throw a remote at your husbands head.  I was holding a bag of oyster crackers at the time, my favorite salty low blood pressure fix, so I threw those instead.  The bag whacked him in the chest and they exploded out like fireworks.

“I have to go get Jake,”  I yelled as I turned back to see him angrily picking them up off the floor.

I jumped in my car, having left the conversation unfinished.  I was seething.  All I could think was, ‘I bet he is mixing the oyster crackers tainted by our overly puppy peed on carpet with the good ones that are still in the bag.  He sucks.  This is why I can’t stand him, he would never take the extra second to throw the contaminated ones in the trash, with consideration for the joy that those little salty devils give me in my time of sodium deprivation.  No, why would he show such thoughtfulness?

When I got back he had picked up my daughter from our neighbors and helped her draw a picture for me.  He called me in to see it.  I went, but only after checking the pantry to find an almost full bag of ruined oyster crackers.  “Fucker.”

Well, you be the judge.  Is it just me or all we all pathetic?

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12 thoughts on “Are We All Pathetic Or Is It Just Me?

  1. Cherie

    We are all pathetic. I feel the same all the time with Herb. Just because he helps make the bed. This morning he started and then disappeared into the another room as I was getting out of the bathroom. I went to make the bed and thought, what he is leaving already without helping. Then he walked back in an started helping me. But of course, he still didn’t fluff the pillows correctly. I see what you mean.

    Reply
  2. Jen

    Sorry, babe. You lost me at “him angrily picking them up off the floor.” What? Your husband picks things up off the floor?!?!? Pray tell, how did you possibly train him to do that??? (Even if it is only to mix the bad with the good.)

    Reply
  3. Lady T

    We are all pathetic! My husband has been home all morning with our 5yb, 3yb,and 1yg while I’m at a coffee shop working on my business. But I know soon as I get home he’s going to leave. He will run out the door to go to work. AND he’ll be gone for 12 HOURS!!! What a butthole!

    Reply
  4. admin Post author

    Well I realize I really set myself up for some criticism here, thanks for not taking advantage of my vulnerable position. Except for you Wilern!

    Jen I knew that would throw some people. To the rest thanks for the camaraderie!

    Reply
  5. Terrena Shea

    “Fucker.” Ha! When I’m pissed-that’s my absolute favorite name for my husband. My friend Mo knows every time I start a conversation with “Fucker” I’m headed into a “Hate My Husband” spiral.

    Reply
  6. Bari

    The male gender is unfortunately male… it’s disarming and um, dissappointing. Little hubby here does the laundry but only because I’m “not good enough at it ” hahaha for him! I got him a card and a valentine gift for him. He gifted me back bu totally out of gulit. Today was our anniversary. You guessed it no card, no gift. But I fooled him this time I didn’t get him a card or gift either. Too bad for me…no guilt this time :(.

    Reply
  7. Barry

    Maybe an Anger management class would help. It’ll save food, stop the fighting and avoid you bring arrested for spousal abuse.

    Reply
  8. rachy

    it may be pathetic, but i’d find it difficult to live with someone who would mix the contaminated crackers in with the good one!

    (keep it a secret, but my domestic pet peeve: the tissues that don’t quite make it into the trash. closeness only counts in horseshoes and nucluear wall, [expletive deleted]!!!)

    Reply
  9. Pingback: Let me disband the rumors of my spousal abuse. | Suburban Jungle

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